Letters To You // Eyeless Jack x Reader

S.H.C//37

S.H.C: Rumored to mean "Sacred Hearts Club" (Song by Foster The People)
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She kept tapping her pen against the notebook on the table. With the soft music playing in the background, (Y/N) was lost in her own little world. Thinking, composing – it was very hard to write a letter all of a sudden.

Words were tangled in her head, each one that seemed to hold meaning simply didn't feel as fitting. Specific letters felt like they didn't deserve to be on a blank piece of paper - the whole situation was frustrating.

(Y/N) felt like Jack deserved more than one letter. She wanted to write her soul out, to tell him how stupid and selfish he is for leaving with no explanation.

It was too early to be the end though, and he wasn't someone that would simply leave everything behind. She'd lie to herself and say how he's selfish, making her keep him a secret forever, even if he left. Deep down, she knew that even if he was her secret, he was worth keeping.

He had become her comfort, weirdly enough. When her little crush began tickling her, she'd always fall backwards, force herself to think about all the bad things about him. She wanted nothing more but to be free of his grasp back then.

The months they'd spend together didn't destroy her rationality. She was aware of the fact who had she fallen for, and how wrong it was. She'd often think about the victims of his, and as much as she felt bad – her reaction no longer appeared as strong as it should be.

Love is wicked and unfair most of the time. Sometimes you'd fall in love with someone who you knew you had no chance with, and sometimes someone would fall in love with you knowing that they had no chance at all.

Innocent little crushes on friends, strangers and celebrities always end up changing us in small ways. Love blocks the view, but when it's gone there are things to see that you haven't noticed before.

It is what blinds you, the silly little things you do for someone you like. But it happens to everyone, it's normal.

Relaxing into her chair, (Y/N) focused on the music for a while, hoping that it'll help her release the tension created in her brain. The radio played the usual music it always did, it was always either the happy summery or depressing tunes, but (Y/N) liked it that way. It was calm.

She paid attention to everything about the song, the melody, beats, lyrics - all of it. Completely absorbed into the soft sound.

"I want to live my life again,
But you won't.
I'll never understand the winds,
But you do.
I didn't know I was afraid,
But you did.
I want to do it again."

There was never a good explanation for what she felt – hell, there was never a justification for it either. There was just a feeling, and (Y/N) chose to chase after it. Even if she never gets in contact with Jack again, she was sure that just like other things, that feeling will go away in time.

The memories won't though.

The memories would haunt her like a ghost, talking and reminding her of the past. That's why she knows that it's not over yet – there is more to it, for sure.

Maybe Jack wouldn't respond to the letter that she'd leave tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that he won't appear years from now, just because.

She didn't get to hear the end of the song because her mind wandered far away again. Sighing, the girl decided to write whatever came to her mind. There was no need to be poetic, it only mattered that it got the message across.

"Yeah, do you want to live forever?"

Is this what she listens to?

"Alright everyone, that was S.H.C by Foster The People! It is currently 9:23PM, I'm your host Gabriel Mitchell and this is Radio-"

"What a specific song." Jack said to no one in particular. He didn't know what possessed him to find the radio station (Y/N) always listened to – but he was somehow glad that he did.

Sparing a glance to the books on the side, he picked up the first one and began reading. He wondered if (Y/N) noticed that four books of hers were missing, and if she did – did she know it was him who took them?

The sole reason he actually left seemed extremely stupid – but there was depth to it. Insecurities that threatened to spill, some sort of self-hatred that wasn't as prominent.

His feelings towards the girl were only to stay feelings. She was a human, reciprocation wasn't something that he would ever expect from her. He knew that he'd probably return at one point, but he wanted to cool off from everything first.

He needed time, but then again, she most definitely didn't enjoy being left alone with no explanation. There were things to talk about, but somehow he didn't feel ready for it.

Jack didn't know how humans dealt with feelings. Sure he had seen it in the movies, but fiction and reality are two different things. He'd even hear (Y/N) comment on how unrealistic some feelings were in movies - she never cared to elaborate though.

He didn't know how he'd even go back to her. Jack couldn't really pinpoint the exact way she'd react to seeing him again after so long, and he was hesitant to test it. For all he knew she could react the way she did when they first met.

The boy had some time to think about what can be done and how can it be done, but for now he needed to focus on the book he was reading.

If they both knew how they plague each other's thoughts, it would be much easier. But it wouldn't really be fair for both of them.

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Hii! Ok first to be clear- The lyrics quotations are coming from the radio. The reader is NOT singing the lyrics (I would never do that to you all <3). Second; I will probably post another chapter tonight as a treat :). That's all for now! Remember to take care of yourselves!!