Anthony doesn't dare look back, and just starts running. I chase after him, knowing I need answers.
~~
I take the back of his shirt, not even giving him a chance to speak. "Why would you do this to me?! How could you do this to me?!" I let go of his shirt, making frantic hand motions as I continue. "When I saw your note a part inside of me died! Do you understand how hard it is to find that the one person you love with all of your heart has disappeared over night?!" I exclaim. "I have to leave Ian. I just have to." "Why...?" I grab handfuls of his shirt, pulling him close to me. "Why are you throwing everything we have together just out the window?!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Anthony remains calm, before speaking."It just...it just pains me to know that," Anthony takes a deep breath of the bitter wintry air, refusing to lock his eyes onto mine. What hurts you Anthony? Why can't we live that happy ever after we always dreamed of? "There's...someone out there who wants to be with you." Why am I holding back from showing him why I can prove him wrong? Why can't I do anything else but stand here and watch his heart shatter? I snap myself out of my thoughts to pay more attention to his words. "Someone...who's gonna be able to kiss you...better than I can." But no one can. "Someone who will cuddle with you...better than I can." You're the only person I want to be held by. "Someone who will be able to take you on cute little dates better than I can," His voice is delicate, pausing in between words and gasping for air, as if he was underwater. Drowning. "Someone who will make Valentine's day, special...better than I can." Every day of the year is like Valentine's day with you. "Someone who w-will," Anthony looks up at the sky, shoving his hands into his pockets. Even though it's dark out, I can still see the glossiness of his eyes. Oh no...Anthony...don't cry. Whatever you do, please don't cry. I'll become an ocean of tears if you cry. Our eyes finally meet. "...protect you when you're scared better than I can." You protect me better than I ever could. "Someone who will hold you in their arms better than I can." Your arms are everything I want. He reaches out and cups my cheek gently, his freezing fingertips making my chest feel warm. "Someone who will adore you, someone who will ask that special question, someone who will take your hand in theirs and say I do," His words quicken with each word. But then he pauses, breathing heavily. Anthony's eyes are filled with so much sorrow that even I can see it myself. My chest...the stinging feeling...the feeling of my heart being ripped out...It's back. It's just like the dream. Anthony's eyes well with tears as he lightly drags his pointer finger sweetly against my cheek. "Someone...who will be able to call you their's forever." His voice is shaky, cracking every other word. "Someone who wil be able to love you..." But he says his next sentence with such softness and brokenness that it's enough to bring me to tears. And it does. "...better than I can." "Pl-Please don't do this Anthony...I-I love you so much...." I tell him, tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "Nonononono don't cry," Anthony wipes them away with his thumb. "You're gonna make me cry even more," With those words, more tears are shed from both of us. I....I don't want him to leave! He's just gonna leave like this? After all we've done? After all we've been through together?!...My frustration subsides as realization flows through me, shocking every nerve in my body. It's my fault....Isn't it? All of this. Wasn't I the one who said that crushes are stupid and we should stick to our soulmates?...I thought I wasn't good enough for him but n-...Scratch that. I still think I'm not good enough for hi-...Scratch that as well. I know I'm not good enough. He still has a heart on his palm. I can't do anything to change that...I was just too blind by lov-I mean...well, whatever the hell you would call this feeling. Love is for soulmates and family only. But it seemed like love to me...
~~
I turn the pencil around and around again. Hm...Am I missing anything? I look down at the list again. Okay, maybe if I just remind myself why I'm writing this...Well, since Anthony's always doing nice things for me, I decided to do one for him, by writing him a list and giving it to him the next time he's not feeling the best. I read the words I've already written:
Things I've Never Told You by: your bowl haired idiot
1. I like the way your hands fit in mine
2. Your eyes remind me of chocolate and chocolate is delicious so therefore you are delicious ;)
Maybe adding humor to this wasn't a good idea
3. I think your cheesiness is actually really cute (Ps, you aren't allowed to use that against me >:( )
4. I know you get jealous when I even say a word to other guys. Everyone else knows it too. You kiss me until they go away, its a bit obvious. But I think that its another way of saying "You're mine" to me and I think that's adorable
5. youR HAIR HoLy fUCK ITS AMAZING
6. We should make out more often just sayin
7. I don't like being the big spoon but I'd be the big spoon for you
8. I love you but not enough to let you have the last slice of pizza
9. Your laugh is very comforting and sweet
10. (i'd love you even more if you took out the trash)
11. what I said above was false, and it's impossible for me to love you any more than I do now (but seriously, please take out the trash)
12. you don't like to admit it but you are a bucket of sunshine and you make me happy in unimaginable ways.
13. Thank you for everything you've done for me
I don't know what I'd do without you, and I hope you can be mine forever.
Eh, I'll just keep it in the drawer. Maybe I'll make it better someday.
~~
"I'm sorry." My heart twists and turns until I run out of breath. He has a soulmate out there somewhere...I'll never forget that...Maybe...maybe this is for the better. For his good. He can leave me. I have to request something of him before we never see each...other...It's difficult to even think about. My life without Anthony? Pointless."Can I...can I have a goodbye kiss?" I request, using all the confidence I have left. "I don't think that would be appropriate..." My heart sinks even further. "But to hell with that," He finishes, before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. Those lips...those beautiful lips that I'll miss being all over my face. I always would tease him for kissing me everywhere so often...but who knew how much I was gonna miss it? Our kiss is as passionate as it can get, but it's also very sweet and...well, salty due to the tears running down our faces. I'm doing this for him...You know the saying "If you love it, let it go." but why is it so damn hard?
And he's gone.
I never saw him again...
...and I never got to see the crescent in his palm.
~A/N~
none of you should ever trust me enough to actually read my fan fiction
ever
like seriously i thought you guys would've learned your lesson by now after will i ever matter to you
jokes on you
kk bye
