The Trials of Being Loved

Part 7 - It's Not a Game, Polar Bear

Unused condoms flew like confetti as Tay flung the duvet off the bed and pulled New up to the pillows to hold him properly. He liked this. He LIKED feeling Newwie's heart beat beneath his hand, the warmth of his back against his front.

What he didn't like, was why wouldn't New look at him right now? Wasn't he the one who said "I want you." Wasn't it too late to be shy?

It wasn't that he was shy, he was in shock. Yes, New decided, shock was a good word for it. This wasn't the man he was used too. That was it. The Tay he knew, he would have been kind, considerate and it would have been New fucking him, not the other way around. But was this so bad? His hips twisted, feeling light twinges of pain.

New was also having a very hard time ignoring the weight of his hand on his chest, those long fingers once again lightly playing with his nipple, and his body having completely curled into his. Why did Tay want to STAY this way?

Fuck, New swallowed back a moan, I'm so screwed! Aloud, "I can't sleep like this. I need a shower." He needed more time, time to think away from Tay. "Change the sheets?" He tried to break free but Tay held him back.

"Why?" Tay snuggled his head closer, pressing butterfly kisses to the back of his neck. "New, I know when you're running. Why now?"

"I can't think around you!" Why did I just say that? New closed his eyes. The world spun as Tay rolled him over.

"Open those damn eyes and look at me!" New carefully opened one eye and swiftly closed it again. Tay didn't look happy.

"I said, LOOK AT ME!" Now, he sounded unhappy too. Sighing, New cracked his tightly sealed peepers and looked at him.

"You said you wanted me. I wanted you. We had sex. I don't get this at all. Isn't cuddling and spending a night together all part of it? Unless one night was all you wanted?" Tay let go of him and walked to his closet, pulling out a pair of shorts. He swiftly pulled them on, not caring of how the body fluids still decorating his body.

New sat up, protesting, "That's not it!" How do I explain my brain? "I don't know how to process what happened."

"Process? Who the fuck uses a word like that now?" Tay stared down at the naked man in his bed. When did New begin to look like a baby to him? Act like a child? He wanted to pull his hair out! Or better yet, spank him for being so indecisive.

New was pulling, well, rather continuously running his hand through his hair. "I do want you. I still do. It wasn't for a night. You think that one night can dispel years of cravings?" He snorted. "You're wrong. It's just... just..." He shook his head. He couldn't say it, it was embarrassing.

"I will spank you."

Meeting his eyes, New ran his tongue over his lips. It brought heat back into his belly, low and heavy. Tay was serious. If he didn't talk, he WOULD get a spanking. WHAT WOULD THAT BE LIKE?

"Is that it?" Tay slumped on the bed. "You're afraid because you saw another side of yourself and you don't know if you like who you are." He laughed dryly. "And you said you wanted to find out who I was."

"Fuck you." New brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them. "I know ME, I want to be in you too." There he said it. That asshole didn't need to know that it was his first time...

Tay's face blanched. "I thought that roles don't change."

"It's our sex life, who the fuck can say who does what but us? Unless you don't want a sex life WITH me?" New let go of his knees, and came close to Tay, finally looking more like himself, exuding confidence. "I won't stay with a man who won't let me fuck him."