The Trials of Being Loved

Part 48 - The Orca's Family Pod Circles

That was his father! Tay clutched his damaged belly as a spontaneous laugh burst forth. "Dad! Don't make me laugh. It hurts." He could hear the change in his father's tone almost immediately. His breathing steadied, the words became even, slower.

"Boy, I listened to that, ahem, courier, when he said not to come even though your mother has been worried sick. If I hadn't been getting daily updates and pictures, we would be on a plane right now, and taking you with us. Talk." A shiver went down Tay's spine. It didn't matter that he was over 30 years old. His dad had the power to follow through with his threat. 

As the silence dragged, his dad got impatient. "Boy! You called me. What is it?"

"Dad, I think we need some help. Your type of help." He hesitated because things never went well when people found out that his dad was THE Special Investigator appointed by the Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Thailand. When he was younger, and much stupider, he was proud of position his father held, only to hear others calling him a paid snitch.

"My type? What the fuck have you gotten mixed up in?" Now, all he heard was curiosity. 

"I'm not sure. I know it involves the police, drugs, a minister in the government and..." here he hesitated, knowing this wasn't the best way to come out to his dad. Finally, he bit the bullet because, well, there probably wasn't any better time. "A guy who was stalking my boyfriend."

"I'm getting on a plane," There was a pause, "In 30 minutes. I'll arrive in two hours. Have one of the couriers pick me up at the airport." Dad paused. "Tay, stay calm. We'll talk when I get there."

"Tell mom I love her, miss her and I'm fine." Now, it was time to call the monk. He wasn't sure why this call was harder than the first, but his hand trembled. Needing time, Tay took in a deep breath and waved the guard over. "Send a courier over to pick up my dad at the airport. He'll be here in two hours."

"Sir? Does... Yes, Sir." The guard went back to the door and opened it slightly, quietly whispering, glancing at Tay, tossing the satellite phone from hand to hand. He walked back to the cot, "Sir, Tam will be in to have a word." He gave a brief nod of his head and returned to his post. 

Very, very few people knew that he had chosen to be an ordained monk, when he turned 25. Tay finally dialed the number of the Abbot or Ajahn. When he answered, Tay simply said, "I need help."

"Your karma is disturbed, my son." The elderly Ajahn sighed. "What do you need from me?"

"I'm not sure..." Tay hesitated. "Forgiveness? A lesson in jealousy? Comfort?" 

There was a different note in the Ajahn's voice now, albeit it very subtle. "My son, when you left us, did I not thoroughly explain to you the need to separate your professional life and personal one? You can not ignore the needs of one to absorb the pressures of the other as you were doing. Forgiveness and jealousy are normal in any relationship. One heart does not rule over the other, but lives in tandem with each other. It's alright to be in love, my son."

How does he do this? A flush crept up Tay's neck, subtly darkening his skin. He wanted to protest that he wasn't in love, but just the question gave it away. "Ajahn... I don't know how to communicate with him. I just make it worse."

"My child, stop using your head and listen to your heart. When you love with your heart, let it speak, not your head." The Ajahn coughed. "And son, don't forget to pray."

Disconnecting the call, the phone slipped from his hands as Tay considered his words. He clasped his hands in front of him and for the first time in a long time, he actually prayed from the heart, rather than just from memory. "May all be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow; May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless; And may all live in equanimity, without too much attachment and too much aversion, And live believing in the equality of all that lives."