The Trials of Being Loved

Part 13 - Polar Bear, Admit it Now!

New walked over to the sofa and sat beside him, carefully so they didn't touch. "I'm always scared. Of everything." He admitted softly. "I'm scared that if I tell someone how I feel, it ends up on the internet in hours and I'm picked apart. I'm scared that my acting is criticized or how I dress. I'm scared that I will never have anyone I can trust fully to help me share these burdens with."

He looked down at his hands, neatly folded, the way his mother taught him so very long ago. "I'm scared that I will never have a loving partner."

"What the fuck am I, New? What the fuck have we been doing over the past few days, if not developing a relationship?" Tay was not used to this feeling either: crying.

"I don't fucking know, okay? I didn't think that far ahead! I only wanted you. That's it, okay?" New's voice shifted slightly, "I've wanted you for a very, very long time. When you started to respond, things just happened."

"I don't treat you as a possession. I'm protective, and jealous, but not possessive. I know you've been hurt."

"I still can't believe you were a virgin."

"Stop talking about it."

"Why? Isn't this the time to be honest?"

"Because all I can think about when you do, is fucking you again. I know you liked the pain, Newwie. You can deny it, but I saw your face, saw your reactions. Heard you." Tay still wasn't looking at him. "Not once did you tell me to stop because I would have. I can't hurt you outside of the pleasure."

New shivered, thinking about that spanking. "It's the same with me fingering your ass. You can't deny you liked it. I don't know why you got so freaked out about it."

Tay stood. If he had to tell New about it, he couldn't be close to him. Walking away, facing away, "I liked being the dominate one. It was my inexperience showing, fear, if you will. My brain kept it linked to one step away from you fucking me, without listening to me. I just needed time to think it through. Then, I expected you to come after me. Like I always did for you."

"But I didn't."

"No, you didn't. I was hurt, then angry and scared." Tay turned and looked at New. "It did make me realize one thing. How much I love you and can't live without you."

"It's not me. It's the sex." New gave a small, depreciating laugh. "You've become addicted to sex."

"How? We've only done it once." Well, it was technically more, but it wasn't, if it happened all within twenty-four hours! He strode back to New, knelt and grasped his hands. Meeting his eyes, "It's you. We've worked together for years. Hell, we've kissed each other for years. Only each other. It's you that I've fallen for. I know I love you, New."

He could no longer avoid the sincerity in Tay's eyes. Only his mother ever had that look while saying those words.  Helplessly, "What do you want from me, Tay?"

"Everything!" Tay reached with both hands and cupped his face. He brought it close enough to his, while studying it. New did not move, just waited. Finally, lips met lips. It was a rough kiss, as Tay claimed his man. 

He pushed New flat on the sofa, to deepen the kiss, forcing his mouth open. Hearing him moan, it was as if he earned a boy scout badge in kissing! New's hands went up his shirt, and that too excited Tay. 

Against his lips, he whispered, "Let's fuck?"

New's hands pushed against his abdomen and he sat up. He swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, leaving his torso bare. Tay grinned and bit his earlobe. New trembled. Tay's teeth and tongue played havoc with his bare skin while his fingertips rubbed and rolled his nipples.