The Trials of Being Loved

Part 9 - My Polar Bear, It's Not Defeat

Tay made breakfast for them both, happily bustling in the small kitchen. New sat gingerly on his sore bottom. He couldn't keep eye contact long. He felt so damn shy! He gave a soft snort at the thought! Him! Shy! Who had been in under public scrutiny for almost half his life, had his body (well, except for his most private of privates) seen by everyone and even then, they KNEW what was underneath.

Now he was shy? How did that make sense?

Tay glanced up, "Did you say something?"

"No, nothing." He shook his head.

Tay slammed the fry pan down. New looked up at him, startled. "You're doing it again. Keeping everything inside. Talk to me, for fuck's sake, Newwie!"

"Honestly, I wasn't..." New froze to the stool. He hadn't seen Tay look like that before. It really wasn't anger, more like... disappointment?

"What is going on in that pretty head, New?" Tay came closer. "Tell me." His voice had dropped, the same way it did last night.

New's body responded, hearing the call... his blood began to sing. Oh Fuck! "Umm, I'm feeling shy. That's all." He never realized that his face had flushed, his cheeks had now a pretty pale glow.

Tay groaned, feeling his pants tighten. "Good. I'm not exactly confident here either."

"What?" New shifted uncomfortably on the stool. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like I've slept with that many people. I need to hear it from you, that it was good, but you're not exactly forthcoming."

"Damn it, Tay, do you think my body could hide it? That I could hide the fact I wanted it?" New's voice was muffled.

Tay faced him to see New had pulled his t-shirt over his face. He started to giggle. New pulled the shirt down to sit on his nose. Mad, he pulled it up. "It's fucking embarrassing to bisect this like a dead insect."

Tay brought the finished simple breakfast over and put it on the table. "We're off for a week, not just for today." He sat down and met New's eyes. "Embarrassing? Fine, let's talk about who is more embarrassed."

"We don't have too." His face red, New spooned rice into his mouth.

"You think it was easy to hear you talk about my virginity?" Tay's face was almost equally red. "At least, I'm not one anymore."

The spoon clattered to the table. "What?" New's face went white with shock. "Did you just say you were a virgin? As in, you had sex with no one before last night?"

Nodding, Tay reaffirmed. "I told you, masturbation. Sex is troublesome. Who was I going to fuck? We both started around the same time, Newwie. I wanted a career first. We both started the same way, didn't we? Modelling before acting, I was sure we talked about that once." He methodically ate his breakfast.

New picked up his spoon and started eating again. "But I heard you had a girlfriend. What happened?"

"Nothing. I had no time for her so it naturally ended. As for the sex part, we both decided we weren't ready, especially if a mistake happened." A mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm not sorry I waited, Newwie. Not sorry at all."

"But that doesn't make sense, Tay. What teenager doesn't experiment with sex?"

"A scared one." He sighed. "Her sister had a baby out of wedlock." He leaned against the counter. "I was 18. There was no way we were trusting contraceptives. None. How could we take care of any accidents at that age?"

New pushed, "You didn't seem like a virgin to me. You must have done something over the years."

"Mmm, it's called imagination. I have a good one." Tay winked and licked his lips.