wow

leave 4.2

A/N: Thank you for 1k reads ayeee.

It was a travel day so Austin and I were trapped in the bus in the middle of the country. I was lost in my head like usual, but he hadn't noticed my silence.

We were nearing the Thanksgiving and Christmas break that the entire crew was longing for at this point.

I had been tossing around the idea of heading back to South Dakota early. I wanted to get my apartment packed up, and possibly set up an appointment to get me properly checked out before trying for a baby.

Of course I hadn't shared any of those thoughts with Austin. He had gotten slightly clingy and possessive towards me after I agreed to trying for a baby with him a few weeks ago.

I wasn't allowed to go off with out security or him when we stopped somewhere, or even on venue properties. I understood where he was coming from, but I was getting tired of his shit very quickly.

Ivory wasn't even aware that I had these thoughts in my head. All she knew, I'd be back in a few weeks with Austin. I missed my best friend greatly, and she was another reason why I wanted to go home.

"Love?" Austin questioned.

"Yes bubs?" I said while snapping my head in Austin's direction.

"You're lost in your own world over there. Come here and let me squeeze the shit out of you. I wanna know what you've been thinking about." Austin said.

I cautiously got up out of the kitchen dinette area and plopped into his lap on the couch. My arms circled around his neck and my head sat softly on his shoulder.

His arms circled around my waist, and he kept his promise of squeezing the shit out of me. He squeezed me tightly, and then loosened his hold on me.

"Now, tell me what's going on, sunshine. I know when you've been thinking too hard about something. You know you can talk to me about anything." Austin said sweetly.

Guilt hit me immediately. I felt bad about the thoughts swimming through my head. I didn't want to leave the man who clearly loved me dearly, even if it was for a few days.

"I've been considering going back to South Dakota before the holidays, by myself." I muttered quickly.

Austin gave me a confused look. My guilt dug even deeper than it already was.

"Did I do something wrong?" Austin asked quietly.

"Baby, absolutely not." I retorted quickly.

My hands cupped Austin's cheeks and I turned his head so he was looking me in the eyes. His perfect baby blues had deepened with sadness.

"Why do you want to leave then?" Austin asked.

"Austy, don't make me feel bad please. I just want to get my apartment packed and ready to be shipped to yours. I want to get checked to make sure all is well for when we're really, seriously trying for a baby." I said.

"So you fucking lied when you said we could start trying right away?" Austin snapped at me.

"Austin, first of all, don't snap at me like that. And second, I didn't lie. I figured you knew that until I got checked, we were just trying for fun, that nothing would probably come from it." I snapped back.

"Good to know I'm a joke, Meadow." Austin scoffed.

"I never fucking said that, Austin. Don't put words in my mouth." I argued.

Austin then scooped me up and placed me on the couch beside him. He got up and started to head towards the back of the bus.

"You can have the main part of the bus tonight. I don't think I can be around you without this shit going further than it already fucking has." Austin snapped.