Reprobate Romance (Andy Biersack) ✔️ (editing)

28: Congratulations It's a...

"Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I screamed in pain.

"Just keep breathing, Lex." Rose was by my side, holding my hand as I was probably crushing it to pieces every time I felt a contraction. "Just breathe." She repeated.

It was early, unexpectedly early... more than a week before my due date. But here I was, in a hospital bed, experiencing the most horrible kind of pain I could ever have imagined... times a thousand.

For a moment, the pain lessened again. "Did you call him yet? Is he coming?" I just managed to ask. Rose simply nodded. "Well then where the fuck is that jerk?!" Every existing emotion was stirring around and blowing up my head. It felt insane.

"I'll go look for him, okay? I'll be back a.s.a.p. I promise." And with that, Rose left.

"Fuck!" I sang as I felt yet another contraction. They just kept coming more frequent and so much more painful every single time. And just when I thought it couldn't get much worse, it did.

Suddenly I heard a door open. "Sir what are you doing here?" A nurse asked.

"I- I'm the father." I vaguely heard in the background. In only a matter of seconds, an out of breath Andy was beside me. Terror was written all over his face.

Another contraction came. "Oh fuck when am I getting that fucking epidural?!" I then screamed again in pain. "Fuck it hurts so much!" The pain was literally indescribable. And I just felt like giving up, but I couldn't. It was way too late for that.

Andy turned towards the gynecologist and the two nurses. "Someone please get her that damn epidural right the fuck now." He demanded, sounding more convincing than ever. He then turned back to me and grabbed my hand.

"I can't do this." I cried out, feeling even more shots of pain going through my entire lower body. "I just can't."

Andy wiped the sweat off my forehead and caressed my hair. "Yes you can, Lexus. You're a strong woman. You can do this."

"You're going to have to get ready to push, miss Ratliff." The nurse then said.

My eyes widened. "But... but what about the epidural?" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry miss, you're fully dilated it's too late for that. Now push in 3... 2... 1..."

I squeezed the hell out of Andy's hand and pushed as hard as I physically still could. "Oh god, oh god it hurts so much. Why the fuck did you have to go get me pregnant and then fuck it up you fucking ass!" I cried out, not really knowing why I said something like that at a time like this.

Andy stayed quiet though.

"I can see the baby's head. Now push, miss, push!" The nurse called all excitedly. Her excitement was really annoying to be honest. But go figure, she wasn't the one in fucking pain here. "Just little more now."

It felt like hours passed by, but in reality it was much shorter. I found myself cursing and yelling at Andy throughout the entire process. And at this point I felt that he deserved every bit of it. "I can't do it anymore. I really can't. I fucking hate you so much Andy Biersack! Fuck!"

"She doesn't mean it." Another nurse then reassured Andy.

"Oh but I fucking do! Fuck it hurts so much!"

I just felt like I was dying in a way. The pain was nearly unbearable. And my emotions were making me go crazy too... I was so grateful that Andy was here that I just wanted to kiss him but at the same time I just wanted to punch him in the face. I was feeling so much pain and so many emotions; I just didn't know how to deal with it. I couldn't deal with it.

"You're doing great, miss Ratliff." The nurse assured me.

I screamed and pushed again. At this point I felt like I had no strength left in me. "I can't." I whispered breathlessly. Andy simply kept staring at me and silently caressed my hair... as if it fucking helped.

It was then that I heard loud cries coming from the end of the bed. "Congratulations miss Ratliff, mister Biersack... it's a boy. You have a son." The gynecologist announced.

In a matter of seconds, they cut the umbilical cord, cleaned the little screaming baby, and bundled him up in a blanket. All the pain that I felt then disappeared when the nurse carefully handed me my son. "Hey there little one." I whispered gently, as a river of happy and relieved tears started rolling down my cheeks.

I had a son. This was my son. And his beautiful face mesmerized me. Instantly I fell in love with him. Andy then carefully reached over and caressed his cheek with one finger. The little boy reached up with his tiny hand and tightly wrapped it around Andy's fingertip.

"Welcome to the world, little fighter." Andy whispered with pride in his voice.

When I looked up at him I saw the brightest smile on his face that I had ever seen. His eyes were sparkling with pride and fresh tears. "Would you like to hold him?" I then asked.

Without even looking my way, Andy nodded. I carefully lifted the little bundle in the air and handed him over. Ever so carefully, Andy held our son in his arms. "Shit. I'm a father now." He muttered excitedly as it finally sunk in. He then looked up at the nurses and smiled. "How do I look?"

"Like all new fathers look... Proud and scared shitless." One of the nurses stated.

I couldn't help but to laugh a little. And for a moment, everything was fine. We were here and we were together, as a family. Even if it was for just this moment, it was nice.

After a little while, Andy turned back to me. His smile faded. "What will you name him?" What will I name him? Did he really just ask me what I was going to name him? It was then that my hope and fantasy of us being a family died again.

"I... I don't know." I whispered. Andy frowned and carefully handed our son back to me. "We never... decided on a name."

The look of discomfort and guilt took over Andy's face. "I... I have to go." He then whispered, his voice cracking.

"Andy, wait." I then called, right before he left the hospital room. He turned around and looked at me, with one eyebrow raised. "I'm glad you were here." I really was glad about that. Though the circumstances weren't great, I was glad that he was able to witness the birth of his very first child.

He tried to smile, but to no avail. "Thank you for allowing me to be here." And with that, he left. I looked back down at my son's beautiful little face. And even with all of the things that were going on, I couldn't help but to smile. I was in love.

For the first two weeks after the birth, a nurse came over daily to help me around. She basically taught me the ropes by making me watch as she did almost everything. According to her, I had a pretty rough birth so she made me rest a lot.

"So how has the contact been with the father? And your family?" Danielle, my home nurse, asked just after she put my son to bed again.

I laughed sarcastically. "I haven't actually had any contact with the outside world since he was born. Besides you, that is." I explained.

"Good." She stated. I was kind of surprised at her answer. "Don't get me wrong, family is great and all... but in the beginning they can be a bit... overwhelming. There isn't anything wrong with being alone the first while. It's good for the mother and baby bonding process. Know that, okay?"

   

I simply nodded, baffled by what she had just told me. Slowly though I was starting to feel a bit isolated.