Reprobate Romance (Andy Biersack) ✔️ (editing)

32: Scared Beyond Words

"Trick or treat!" We called out as an elderly lady opened the door. "Hey grandma." Andy then added excitedly.

"Oh Andrew, how lovely to see you!" She exclaimed, opening her arms as Andy flew at her and hugged her tightly. She kissed him on the cheek and smiled brightly. "I'm all out of candy, but I'm sure you won't mind a beer." She then said with a wink. Andy laughed and signaled at me to come inside.

Well this was slightly awkward.

"I want you to meet someone, grandma." He then started as he closed the door behind me and gently laid a hand on the back of Dennis' head. "This is your great grandson."

A gasp and an even wider smile was her initial reaction. "I have a great-grandson?" She asked, disbelievingly.

Andy smiled at me for a moment and then looked at his grandmother again. "Yeah, it's true grandma. I have my own spawn out of hell." He then stated with a laugh.

I carefully lowered Dennis from my chest into my arms and presented the little Batman to her. "Oh he is absolutely gorgeous." She noted with pride. "And darling you look absolutely amazing. Is my grandson treating you right, hmm is he?" She then asked me, trying to be all-serious.

I couldn't believe what was happening; more fucking pretense.

When we came back later that night, Chris and Amy had left a note that they were out together. I put Dennis straight to bed, since he had already fallen asleep on our way back to the house.

I threw my mask onto the couch and sighed. "What a night." I muttered. It was then that I spotted a packet of cigarettes on the table. I hadn't smoked in forever. And to be honest, I shouldn't start again, but I just couldn't resist it... so I quickly grabbed the box and went out to the porch. It almost made me feel like I was 15 again and trying to hide from my parents that I was smoking.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and read through all the comments that were placed on the photo of the three of us that Andy had posted. Most of the comments consisted of people saying just how cute we looked together, how we were the perfect family, and how it was their goal to have a future just like us.

They had no fucking idea though.

Now I definitely needed a smoke.

Lucky me, there was a lighter inside the box. I sighed and lit one up, took a long drag and smiled at the buzz I felt in my head from the sudden hit of nicotine. "I wondered where my smokes had gone." I then heard Andy mumble behind me with an amused tone.

"I've shared mine with you for years. I thought it was time to return the favor." I simply stated with a little smile as I threw the packet back in his direction. He caught it and lit one up himself too.

"Tonight was nice." He then whispered with his irresistible raspy voice as he stood very closely beside me. I turned my head to look up at him, only to find him already staring down at me. There were so many things I wanted to say. I even want to yell and scream at him, but at this very moment, I couldn't.

Our eyes locked as they used to, and I saw that his were full of pain. My mind went completely blank. And as we slowly grew closer, I closed my eyes and waited.

I waited, until I suddenly felt a soft kiss on my forehead. It really wasn't what I had expected or what I had hoped for. And again I felt my heart breaking into a thousand little pieces. I felt myself starting to choke up as tears welled up in my eyes.

I had to get away from him.

Quickly I threw away my cigarette and ran past Andy back inside the house as fast as I could. Not wanting to wake up Dennis, I ran into Chris' office and let myself slide down the wall and onto the ground. My fucking emotions were getting the best of me again. Why did this have to happen here, of all places? It wasn't like I could just go home. With an utterly miserable feeling in my stomach, I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed.

It wasn't long before I heard Andy storming in. He dropped to his knees in front of me and caressed my hair. "Don't touch me!" I screamed, throwing my arms in his direction, in attempt to slap him away from me. "Just leave me alone!"

Suddenly though I found my wrists in the tight grip of his strong hands. And without any words, he pulled me into him a held me close. That's when my cries became nearly hysterical. I just wanted to disappear forever at this point.

"I'm so fucking sorry." Andy simply blurted out, holding me even tighter.

"Why, Andy? Just tell me why." I cried out into his chest.

"I... I'm so fucking scared, Lexus. I don't even know what the fuck to do or how to make anything fucking better." He snarled angrily.

I tried to control my breathing through my cries, but it was useless. "How about just be there for your fucking son, you jerk!" I exclaimed as I repeatedly punched his chest with the side of my fist. But even then Andy wouldn't let go of me.

"I love you so fucking much, Lexus. I'm so sorry." Andy then whispered into my hair.

"Shut up." I pleaded desperately. "Just shut up please." And just as I had asked, not a single word was spoken the rest of that night. Once my crying had calmed down a little, I wrung myself out of Andy's grasp and went straight to bed.

Everything just felt so seriously fucked up.

The next morning, I decided to take the earliest flight back to LA. I just couldn't stay here any longer. I realized what Amy had tried to do, but it just wasn't going to work out. I apologized to Chris, who was nice enough to drop me off at the airport.

"You don't have to apologize." He whispered. "Look, I know my boy, okay? I do see how much he loves you and the kid. He's scared beyond words. Just give him some time, he'll work it out."

I sighed and held my hand on the handle of the car door. "Forget about me. Dennis needs a father, Chris. And Andy may be his biological father, but... sometimes I'm not sure if he really wants to be. And if he does, he needs to take some serious steps, like soon."

Chris rubbed his eyes and nodded. "I understand. Be safe now, okay? No matter what happens, you'll always be like a daughter to me." He then smiled and leaned in for a hug.

   

"Thanks, Chris." And with that, I got out of the car.