✨L I F E G O E S O N✨

💞A boygroup?💞

21th September 2012
Today is Friday ... I'm pretty nervous. The audition starts at 5 p.m. Until then I have school. And dance practice.

What if i have to go If i fail? I would be a disappointment to my mother. But above all, I would have disappointed myself very much. My father always told me that I was going to get nowhere and that I was useless. I have to show him that it's different. After 2.5 years of training. I have to do this. What if not? Will I remain a trainee? I probably have to go. But where? I can't go to my parents. I'm too scared of my father. He would hurt me again.

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The time has come. I stand in front of the judges and Pdnim.
There are more than usual. The 3 judges who have been there since the first time are there. 2 others and Pdnim. The 2 new ones seem extremely strict.

Mrs. Choi: Lee Suri we would like to see your dance first.

I just nodded. I am in the middle of the room. Then I hear the melody of my song playing. I get into the position with which my dance begins. I make light, elegant movements until I start rapping the song. As soon as I hear my voice and the rhythm is right, my dance steps become more powerful and intense. I'm starting to dance boyish. My face gets more expression with every word I sing. It's going perfectly. Then the song ends and so does my dance.

Some of the jury nodded while looking at the sheets of paper on the table. I look to Pdnim. He's writing something down. For a brief moment I thought I saw him smile.

Mrs. Choi: Okay. As far as I know, you're primarily rapping. We'd like to get to know your singing skills first and then your rap.

I nodded again. I am not allowed to sing any of my own songs in the vocal audition. My vocal coach told me that before. I struggled at first and I still feel very insecure when I sing.

The music started to play. The song was called 'An Angel on my Shoulder'. The song is from a Korean singer. She's good, but I don't hear her music. I sing. My highnote was okay. It wasn't perfect though. The song ended.

I looked in the direction of the jury. No reaction. Some of them wrote something down. Also Pdnim. I have a bad feeling.

Mr. Kim: It was good. However, we would have liked more feelings.

I thank him for the hint. Crap! Am i out now? Did i fail?

Mrs. Choi: Okay. And now your rap.

Now I can take my own song.
The melody of my song comes from the speakers. I go closer to the microphone, which is attached to a frame. I start rapping. I feel everything I say I bob along with the song. Everything in tact. I get closer to the chorus and take the microphone out of the rack. I walk a little to the left, then to the right. I move dynamically to the music. In between I close my eyes sometimes. Every now and then I look the jury straight in the eye while I rap and involve them. As soon as the song comes to an end, I slowly move back towards the center of the room. Then the song ends.

As soon as the song ended, I saw each of them write something down. Pdnim and someone else on the jury smiled a little and 3 others nodded. I think that's good.

Mrs. Choi: Okay, Suri. Let's test your flexibility.

I did the exercises she told me.

Mrs. Choi: Now I have a few more questions. Can I ask you?

Me: Of course.

Mrs. Choi: How long did it take you to learn all of this?

Me: I took 3 days for the dance. The accompanying song cost me a day. I did the choreography with my dance teacher Mrs. Jang. I had 8 hours for the song 'An Angel on my shoulder'. I wrote the last song for 4 days and finished it in 2.5 days.