✨L I F E G O E S O N✨

🌆Your Dream🌆

17th January 2013
A month has passed and we have been working hard. We'd probably debut this year. I was just in the studio with Namjoon and Hoseok. We wrote our first song. We didn't have a title for the song yet. But we had a beat and some lyrics.

When we were done we listened to the result. We were pretty happy about it. We called the song 'no more dream' . We high five each other and went to Pdnim. We had to show him the song.

The song was about the need to break out of the confines of society. More specifically, it called for a sense of rebellion in today's youth. This was especially true if you want to make your dreams come true. We resisted the imposition of other people's dreams. Do what you loved was the key message.

And we were even more happy when Pdnim liked the song. Now we had to record it in the vocal studio and then our dance coach could create a choreography for it.

But not today. Today we all went to the gym.

We went to the gym. I put on my workout clothes. I had specially created a workout for myself. The training days were from Monday to Friday. The workout consisted of 3 sets (after 4 exercises), then 1 minute break after each set and 20 repetitions each.

Exercises:

- Climber
- Crunch
- Lift a leg
- Russian twist
- Hold planks
- Pushups
- Diamond knee pushups
- Squats
- Jump squats
- Donkey kickbacks
- Fire hydrant
- Lift a leg

It was exhausting. But I did everything. Then I had to run another 5 km. I went to the treadmill and started running. My legs hurt.

When I finished and got off the treadmill, my legs were shaking. Tomorrow only. Then would I have finished my workout for that week.

I came here more often than the others. They only came every 2 days, but sometimes also on the weekend. Why? Because I was aiming to burn fat and the guys were aiming to build muscle.

If I wanted to build muscle, I would come at regular intervals. Every 2 or 3 days. So that muscles can build up, you would have to take breaks in between and increase the level of difficulty after a while. Exercising every day wouldn't build muscles, just tighten muscles and burn calories.

I wasn't allowed to look muscular. First, it wouldn't suit me, and second, it wasn't a Korean ideal of beauty. I still think that it suits some women. But I didn't like it about myself because I was naturally thin.

I felt better thanks to the help of the guys. Still, I was shy. That didn't mean I didn't speak. Because I did.

Sometimes I thought back to when I was still living with Areum, Maya and Kazuko. I hadn't seen them since September. To be more precisely, that was 5 months ago. I wondered when they would debut and what their stage names would be. They came along with each other really well. And soon there should be auditions for a girl group. This would debut in 2015. Would Areum, Maya, and Kazuko be part of the group?

When it came to debut, I thought of my own. Would people like me? Would they like all of us? How would they think about having a girl in a boygroup? Because Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook had already been announced to the public and their reactions were positive, I was afraid that they would change their minds when they saw me. What if I would ruin everything? I would ruin their careers.

I promised myself that I would always do my best. But was that enough? I didn't know it. But I'd never know if we wouldn't try it. We would see.

In the meantime I was on my way to home. I finished my workout. I came home and it was already dark. I wasn't actually allowed to walk alone in the dark, but I had to. I couldn't stay overnight at BigHit building and I didn't feel like asking one of the guys if they would pick me up. And actually nothing happened to me. I did my night routine and went to sleep. I didn't bother to eat since I was really tired. I would probably eat tomorrow morning.