I wake up from the ringing of my mobile. I flay my arms around, trying to feel my phone. I grab the said object from beside my pillow, holding it up to my face. I try to open my eyes but, it seems like I have no strength to do so. I answer the call without looking,
"Hello?" I whisper into the phone.
"Hi, baby. Were you sleeping?" My mother's voice comes into my ears from the other end. I hum in response.
"Sel, it's 1 pm there. Why are you still sleeping? Didn't you have a tour session in the university?" She says, reminding me of today's plan.
I get up, surprised. My eyes wide open, but as soon as the pounding of my head registers, I close my eyes. My hand on my forehead tells me I have a fever.
I sigh, "Mama, I can't go today; I have a bad headache." I don't tell her the whole truth. I know she'll be worried for nothing.
"Take care of yourself, Sel. I called to tell you the confirmation of my flight came. I'll be there tomorrow by noon." The news brings a smile to my face; I miss her.
"Great news Mama. Don't forget to pack my notes and my furry pillow." I remind her. The pillow was gifted to me by Eric on valentines day a couple of years back. He has given me many gifts, but this one is different. The pillow was drenched in the smell of his cologne. I remember what he said to me while giving it to me,
"This has a special purpose, you know?" Eric said when I asked him the reason behind getting me a pillow for Valentine's.
"Yeah? and what is it?" I say, pretending to fix his tie as we stand close to each other, his hands on my waist, his thumb subconsciously rubbing circles on my exposed skin.
"Well, suppose if I'm not there, and you miss me. You can hug it at that time; it also has my cologne so you could feel my presence even if I'm not there." And I smile. He thinks of everything, but I still decide to tease him a little.
"Why won't you be there yourself? You're telling me to make do with a pillow when I need you?" I raise my eyebrow, moving to step out of his hold.
He panics, and instead of letting me go, his grip on my waist tightens as he pulls me closer to himself, "I said, suppose. I'll always be there with you, baby. You do know that I won't ever leave you. I love you so much."
"I know. I love you too." That's all I say before standing on my toes and leaning in to connect our lips.
The memory brings tears to my eyes. I sniffle, keeping the phone away from my face a little. Composing myself, I speak,
"Take care, Mama. And have a safe flight. I'll be waiting. Love you"
"Love you too, baby. Take care." She says before hanging up.
I look at the time, and it indeed is 1.30 pm. I slept for more than twelve hours, but I still feel exhausted, as if my body would collapse right here if I let it. I sigh and get out of bed. Sick or not, this shit needs to be done.
I freshen up and go grocery shopping. I can't live on takeouts every day. On my way, I stop for lunch at a simple restaurant right around the corner of my society. I order simple; since I don't have much of an appetite when I'm sick, but I still have to eat to take the medication.
After lunch, I go to a grocery store. I've been wanting to cook for a few days. Eric loved my cooking, and I loved to cook for him. I get many things, Juice, cereal and frozen food to meat, noodles and spices and sauces. And some coffee. I need Coffee to start my day, or someone could die by my hands.
Talking of Coffee, I also need to buy some appliances, One of them being the coffee machine. The house comes furnished, but they don't provide these things. I won't need the dishwasher since I'll be alone so there won't be many dishes. I only need to buy a mixer/grinder, coffee machine, and a microwave.
I place the order for the appliances at the nearest electronic store I could find. The delivery will be by the evening or tomorrow morning.
After finishing my errands, I decided to go home to get some rest but not before grabbing takeout from a sandwich shop.
Coming back to an empty apartment, I sigh. Removing my shoes and coat by the door, I move into the house. The deafening silence is like an arrow shot straight to my heart. I never pictured my future without Eric; I couldn't. I always thought we would always be together. But right now, living in this moment without Eric. Not having to hear his voice in this past one and a half months has been torture for me.
At first, after our breakup, I turned to alcohol. That's all I did for ten days straight. That was until my mom stuffed some sense into my thick skull. Talking to her made me realize I needed to cope with his absence in a little healthier way. So, I cried. I cried all day and night, In my mother's arms, on the cold bathroom floor alone, on the couch. I threw stuff around, broke things. I was angry at Eric for doing this to me. I cursed him and begged him to come back to me at the same time.
But it turned out to be of no use. Lastly, my mother suggested I should take some time to explore the world and find myself again. Her words were: "You have lost yourself in Eric so much, you forgot about your own self. You need to find yourself again, find new things that give you happiness instead of mopping around for Eric. And maybe along the way, you can also find your soulmate, only if you want to." I didn't agree with the last part, but She wasn't wrong about the other stuff so, I came here. And after all this trying, his absence still bugs me.
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Stars To My Moon || BTS Soulmate AU || OT7
FanfictionHe took big strides, halting right in front of me and bends down. I lean back a little, his proximity making me nervous. I could feel his breath fanning my face, looking into his eyes, I could see a storm of anger in them. "We have been nothing but...
