DARKNESS IS LIGHT

Chapter 1

KELSEY

"I'm heading out now."I muttered to the old man cleaning the counter as I hung my apron on the hanger.

He raised his head, smiling at me before reminding me like everyday. "Be Careful Kelsey."

"I will Mr. Green. Are you sure you don't need help closing up?" I felt bad leaving him here all by himself to lock up the shop. He was like family, the closest thing I had to it. I sighed when he shook his head 'No'.

"Are you sure?" I pressed, not wanting to leave just yet. I would only be going back to my trashy apartment to bask in my loneliness for another night. It was just me, an eighteen year old girl, living on her own in her mom's old run down apartment on the crazy side of town.

Yeah, I'm living every girl's dream.

Note the sarcasm.

Mr. Green chuckled, which made me smile. He began shooing me, "Go on Kel, it's already late and I wouldn't want to keep you any longer. The streets can be a dangerous place for a young girl like you." He was right, but it still panged on my heart leaving him. It's dangerous for him too.

"Okay sir, Good Night." He waved at me and I waved back.
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I stepped through the shop door and immediately the chilled New York breeze hit me like a ton of bricks. I shivered at it's contact with my skin, causing the hair on my skin to stand and my nipples to harden. They felt like they were gonna fall off. I stared up at the moon lit sky and sighed. I might as well get going.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I was on my way home. Not forgetting to curse at my stupidity for forgetting a coat.

Well, good job Kel. If you freeze to death it's nobody's fault but you're own.

I wore a black cotton shirt, black high waisted jeans and black timberlands.

Yeah I like black. Maybe it's cause I'm black.

Not really though. It's always been my favorite color because it symbolizes what my life is like. Darkness. It's been that way since I was growing up. Having no father present and a mother hooked on drugs made me a broken child. I shut the world out.

I never wanted them to see my faults, my scars, my weaknesses. The world is a cruel place and I've learnt that if people see you are weak, they'll walk right over you.

Things got worst after my mom died. Even though it was predicted. She knew she was killing her fucking self but she didn't care. She had nothing to live for. I was nothing to her. When I was younger I was heartbroken by her actions. But they soon changed me. I acknowledged that my life didn't mean anything to her so I made her existence pointless to me.

What can I say? I wasn't sad when she died. I wasn't remorseful, I had no fucking empathy towards her. The only thing I felt was disgust. Disgust for the lady that gave birth to me.

I know I probably sound heartless but she made me that way. I nor she had no fucking idea who my father was. She would sometimes forget she even had a daughter.

One time when I was twelve, she sold me to a street gang just for some drugs. Saying they could do whatever they wanted with me. That she just needed it, even if it was a little bit. She begged them to take me, crying that she couldn't do without the drugs. But she could do without me.

Mother of the Year.

Fucking Pathetic.

The leader sent me home though. The way he looked at me, pure sympathy in his eyes. It made me feel weak, worthless. Dumb.

But in all honesty, I was all those things. I had no family, no friends. No one. I've never felt what it's like to be loved. To be wanted.

I was all alone. It's just me against the world.

Hence why I'm so obsessed with the color black. It says little, but says alot.
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I had been walking for like ten minutes with about fifteen more to go. I like walking though so I don't have a problem. It clears my mind. Gets me thinking.

The cold breeze brought a sense of nostalgia to me. I couldn't pinpoint the exact memories but it made my heart swell. I deeply inhaled, feeling my stomach flutter and exhaled.

I could feel my clothes getting wet from the night due. The streets were empty, just a few street cats in alleys rummaging through trash cans. That was it. Faint barking could also be heard from a distance. I was alone.

As always.

That quickly became untrue the minute I saw the blinding headlights of a car coming up behind me. I stopped in shock, my heart pounding heavily in my chests as the sleek black SUV stopped right at my feet. The windows were so heavily tinted, I could've sworn it was a fucking mirror. I took a step back as the passenger window wound down and another once I saw the guy inside.

It was a white man. Tattoos climbed his neck like Jack on that beanstalk. He narrowed his eyes at me and smirked.

"Do you want a ride, cioccolato?"
[Chocolate]

I frantically shaked my head and kept on walking. Praying to the Lord Jesus they wouldn't follow me. I think Jesus doesn't like me because they did. The car slowly trailed behind me, until it was right beside me. The driver, driving to match my pace.

"I said I didn't want a ride, why are you following me?" I croaked. Like a fucking frog.

Ribbit.

He could hear the fear in my voice and he just chuckled. A deep fucking, heart wrenching chuckle. I felt my knees buckle as treacherous thoughts began to cloud my mind.

" What's wrong Principessa?" He grinned at me. "Ti sto solo accompagnando a casa."
[I'm just accompanying you home]

"Please stop following me." I quickened my pace. Preparing my legs to run.

It's like the world came to an end when the car stopped and three men stepped out. Three tall, big fucking men. Giants compared to my size.

"Non danneggiare la merce!" I heard someone say from the car.
[Don't damage the merchandise]

The three men stalked towards me, slowly. Like predators ready to attack their prey. Hungry lions stalking towards a baby gazelle.

In my case three white men, trying to catch a black woman.

My people will never be free.

Before they could reach me, I fucking bolted.
Not today massas!!!!

Not today!!!
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