Heaven Is You

|06|

Talia Herera

I should've just stayed in and studied off. That way I would be already done with my material, not having to sit idly in my room, typing away at my computer while wiping my cheeks every few seconds from the unrelenting hot trail of tears, snuffling the snot out of my nose.

That awful night was two days ago and I check my phone for the millionth time, still nothing. I sigh as I toss it aside and open a bag of comfort chips to munch on while I duel in self pity.

Thinking about how he hasn't texted me, or dropped by or anything, I can't help but solidify the fact that I'm nothing but discarded dirt under the soles of his shoes. Should one feel like this? Ever?

While Tim is not the overly romantic type, it was still good to feel wanted, desired, not tossed aside for a half-filled position of a quick stress reliever whenever he needed one, beside the fact that I didn't get the same treatment back.

He's just like this. Give him some time. I kept repeating that like a holy mantra in my head, hoping it might manifest itself.

When I went to check in on him, after hearing from someone that a fight broke out in the locker rooms, I sprinted down to make sure he's alright, that he's not hurt. Instead I ended up being the hurt one.

I made a fool out of myself in front of more than a dozen people, thinking back to it; I don't know how they kept their features serious instead of bursting out with laughter. The only thing missing was bags of salty buttered popcorn.

Also, I didn't miss how Sierra came to my defense like a lioness, bless her soul, stood up for me the way I wish I had. But it only adds to my throbbing head knowing I indirectly put her in a position where she has to draw blood from people for my sake. I hate myself for being this helpless.

My phone rings and a sliver of hope flutters in my stomach, I pick it up, quickly deflating as the caller ID read 'mom'. I take a deep breath, leveling myself before pressing answer.

"Hey, mom" I greet in my most cheerful tone I can possibly fake.

"Hey, honey. How've you been?" She asks, unknowingly sticking another knife into my aching heart. How do I tell her that I'm miserable? I can't. That's exactly why I muster a bit of self control snd try answering her questions to the best of my ability, as normally as I can.

"I'm fine, mom. How're things back at home? Where's dad?" I ask, shifting the topic from me to her. Nice move, Talia.

"Oh, we're really well honey. We miss you so much. Your dad just ran to the store to fetch some tools for the house renovations" She dives into detail about the progress they've made thus far, eliciting a few excited comments from me.

A good fifteen minutes later, we wrap up the conversation, with the usual 'I miss you' and 'take care till next time'.

I hear some shuffling after that, deciding that finishing my homework is relatively impossible under the circumstance, I dart out of my room by the time Sierra is back from her class.

"Hey you" She greets, "How're you feeling now?" She asks with hopeful eyes. "I'm fine" I answer in a tone suggesting otherwise.

She in fact offered to skip class and stay home with me; said we could have a movie marathon with snacks. Although very tempted, I denied her offer, not wanting her slacking off and skipping class for my sake, after I've reassured her a million times that I'm ok and can manage to stay home alone for a couple of hours.

"You know you shouldn't cry about that asshole anyway" She shrugs nonchalantly, shifting closer until folding on the couch "Shitty boys don't deserve our precious tears" She offers and I smile genuinely at her laidback attitude.

"Ok, fine" I plop down next to her, swiping at my puffy cheeks with the sleeves my sweater.

"He hasn't called you yet? Or texted?" She asks warily, not wanting to provoke the nest.

I shake my head negatively, I small needle pricking at the walls of my heart. We've always fought and he's always ignored me afterwards initially, I don't know why I thought he wouldn't this time? Why he might relent, why I might allow myself to hope? All in vain.

"It's just that, every time my phone dings, I can't help but think it's him, but it never is. Then, I'm hit with the disappointment. I just can't take my mind off of it" I express, laying my head on my pulled up knees in front of me.

A smirk quickly appears on her face, a one I'm all too well familiar with, the plotting, calculative one "Oh, I know how we can fix that. Get ready, we're going out tonight! And, we're going all out! Come on, time to put some sparkling dresses on" She claps her hands in a cheerful manner, standing up and then dragging me with her towards the closet.

The next hour is spent picking dresses out, then heels, doing our hair and makeup like goddesses, before we slip out of the apartment and into Dunkin's, this awesome bar downtown according to Sierra. For the meantime, I turn off my phone hoping for a good time that can make me forget about all my problems.

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A/n:

Stay tuned:)