BETWEEN REVENGE AND LOVE

19

Friday, 20/09/1995

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded.

And the people are dancing, the whole common room is. I am. 

I dance, or move, or whatever one might call it, far too drunk to define it, far too drunk to make out where my arms are, my legs, my body. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded.

And I am one with the crowd, with the cigarette smoke air - forgetting what or whom I have to worry about, enjoying my mindless high. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

"You're here," a voice reaches me and I lean into the someone that owns it. Draco Malfoy. 

If only I weren't so drunk I would respond, if only I had my tongue under control, if only I weren't so useless. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

And there's no need for words at all, as I soon notice. His arms wrap around my waist, mine around his neck. We sway closely, to the music, to the beat. Melting into each other. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

"I've been looking for you," he tells me, "to tell you how fucking hot you are."

It catches me off guard, "how drunk are you?" I mumble, my face so close to his. So close. 

"Not as drunk as you."

His hands ride up my shirt and that feels immaculate, cold on my bare skin, evoking goosebumps and so much more. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

"Him? Seriously?" 

A hand grabs my shoulder, firmly, whirling me around. Theo's hand, I discover, as I watch lights play over his anger-darkened face. 

Even if I had the brains to give him explanations, I wouldn't do it. Not now, not this, not to him. I decide on ignorance, denial. 

He looks disappointed.

I'm too drunk to feel bad. I should. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

And they argue, fight as if this were the right place for it. As if it would lead to anything else than chaos. 

"Read the room Nott, she's with me now, can't you tell?" 

"You're easy to overlook Malfoy, don't think everyone pays attention to you." 

"I always knew you had a problem with authority, but that you're too dumb to understand what you're allowed to do and what you're clearly not, that must be really hard you poor, poor thing. What about I'll tell you now so you get it once and for all. She's not yours to touch." 

"Says the right one," Theo smiles, mockingly, "I kissed her and you really think you're in a position to tell me whether I can touch her or not?" 

"You think that means anything? Pathetic. What's one kiss?"

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded.

And Draco now leaves me to stand on my own wobbly legs. Slowly and heartstopping it seeps through my wasted brain that this isn't going to end well if no one takes action. Should I be the one to take action? I should. 

"Ah, so you haven't kissed her yet huh?" Theo's eyes flash triumphantly, "you're just scared she doesn't like you."

"She likes me more than she'll ever like you. "

"You wish."

"None of this is your business, Nott, she's not yours. Don't you dare touch her again."

"You don't tell me what to do!" Theo takes a step forward, threatening. 

It's loud, it's stuffy, it's crowded. 

And suddenly the first fists swing, Theo's at Dracos and Dracos at Theos until there's blood on Draco's fist and blood in Theo's face. Until there's blood everywhere. 

Shit. 

It's loud, it's stuffy and crowded. 

My drunken mind is suddenly less so, shock pumps through my veins. 

"What have you done?" I ask, glaring at Draco,  "Explain this to me." 

His hand closes around mine, "I will. Just come with me."