BETWEEN REVENGE AND LOVE

34

Saturday, 05/10/1995

Kisses on my hair, on my shoulders, his breath on my neck, my body clinging close to his.

It's so calm, so quiet here.

"We should go back soon." 

Warm tingles ripple through me as he firms his grip around me, accompanied by a painful twinge through my abdomen. 

"I think you'll have to leave me behind," I grumble, "I don't think I can go anymore." 

He, what does he do? He laughs. 

"Stop laughing at me!"

"Sorry," he chuckles, "there must be a way to work that out... I'll just carry you?" 

"Absolutely out of question." 

For Merlin's sake, does he think we'll get through the common room unnoticed like that? 

"Why not?" 

His arms loosen around me and he straightens up, "you don't have a choice anyway." 

"There's always a choice." 

I sit up too, which was a huge mistake. Painfully sore, that uncomfortable feeling runs through me. 

"No there isn't," he grins, "I'm gonna carry you."

. . . 

I swallow, terrified.

It feels as if all my blood ran into my head since he threw me over his shoulder because that's just what it did. I'm hanging upside down.

My thoughts put me in a panic that won't release its chokehold on me. 

"One last time," I grumble, "they're all gonna see us, please don't."

An instant of silence fills the air, nothing besides his fast steps, in which I come to another realization. Draco'll be there too. Possibly. Probably.

"No worries, no one is gonna see us, you need to calm d-" 

I was right, more than right. 

It's crowded here for whatever reason, more crowded than ever. 

"Theo hurry up!" I urge, drumming my fists onto his back. It's already too late to prevent us from being seen. Far too late. 

Not only has at least a third of the entire common room seen us, but I also spotted Blaise and Draco, they've seen me too. 

I'm dead, I'm officially dead.

Theo in the meantime has kept going. We're now in the corridor that leads through the boy's dormitories now.

"Tell me that did not just happen," I cry, burying my face in his shirt. 

"It did." He doesn't sound as bothered. "It'll be fine, don't you worry."

Suddenly there are more footsteps to be heard. They're sounding through the dim corridor loudly. 

"Nott!" Someone yells. It's Draco. I knew this would happen. 

"Something wrong?" Theo asks, his voice all innocent as he turns to the others.

Now I eventually get to see them, as I sway lightly, still hanging upside down over Theo's shoulder. Their expressions are the complete opposite of each other. Blaise looks like he's having the time of his life and Draco as if someone died. No, rather angry. 

I gaze over his clenched fists, then give up and squeeze my eyes shut. As I said, I'm dead. 

"Blaise, go on I'll handle this." 

And I thought Draco would've looked angry back when we met in Hogsmeade, but no, this right now is a whole new level.

"What's going on, Y/n are you okay? Have you been having fun in Hogsmeade yeah?" 

"I'm fine Blaise, never better," I call out, with less hope that my words are of significance to anyone.

"Can't she walk herself, Nott? Take your hands off her," Draco demands, harshly.

"I - yes, Theo, just let me walk myself... perhaps."

Suddenly, he lets me slide off his shoulder, my feet hit the ground and the stabbing pain in my abdomen increases. A groan escapes my lips as my legs tremble and I try hard to not make another sound.

I just can't manage to stand straight, no matter how tight I hold onto Theo's shoulder.

I try my best to pretend everything is alright, but to be fair I don't think it works at all. They're all watching me, doing nothing. 

Theo seems again gleeful, Blaise looks very amused and Draco as if he's going to explode.

"What the fuck happened?" Blaise slurs, "is she sick?" 

Theo bursts out laughing. 

"It's hard to explain."

"Blaise could you jus - you can leave it's alright I can handle this alone." Draco tries to persuade Blaise to leave once more. He sure knows what's really going on here and Blaise would too if he weren't so damn drunk. 

"No, I'm not leaving," Blaise calls out irritated. "I want her to tell me what happened, why are you keeping it secret?" 

"Blaise it's okay, really nothing," I try again. 

"Did Theo hurt you?" His gaze darts back and forth between Theo and me and his smile fades. "If so I swear he didn't want to, he'd never hurt anyone."

"Blaise please go okay? I'm alright, I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Fine," his smile returns to his lips. I watch as he swayingly walks towards his dorm door, turns around one last time, waves at us and finally disappears.

"Well," Theo shrugs next to me, making me tighten my grasp on his shirt so as not to fall to the ground.

"What the hell do you want to do now Nott? Wanna get her into your dorm to get some nice rest for her? Do you really think that's a good idea? If I may remind you, you're not alone in there. You just got rid of Blaise and now you want to follow him inside? Everyone's going to come back drunk tonight."

Draco doesn't look as grim anymore now. It's almost as if he'd find this funny. Not that we fucked, but that we're fucked now because I have to get into my dorm without anyone seeing me. 

Which is impossible.

He's right, we don't have many options and our current plans suck.

He makes a few steps over to us, grabs my arm, and pulls me with him.

But without any support, I'm not able to stand straight or walk. In conclusion, my legs fail completely and I fall to the ground stone-heavy.

"Bloody hell, Nott." 

Sighing he bends down to me to pick me up from the ground again, gently and carefully. 

"This..." He looks at me, then at Theo once more. "...is your fault, Nott, I'm making you responsible." 

"I didn't do anything wrong," Theo protests, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

"Oh you did," Draco turns to leave, and walks down the corridor, "fucking someone else's girl is never the right thing to do." 

"Go fuck yourself Malfoy." 

"Well, you're the one sleeping alone tonight." 

. . .