Chapter 46 - "The turmoil...inside out..."

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Maan is nestling to my chest. His tiny frame is engulfed in my protective arms. My buddle of joy is peacefully sleeping. I yank him closer and sob out,

"I am sorry, Munchkin. I didn't want to utter those words for you. You are my life, my world. I just hate your father, my baby. I loved him so much and he broke my heart so mercilessly. But why it still hurts to see him in pain. Why it is so difficult to see tears in his eyes. He destroyed my everything but he gave me you and I am thankful to him for that. I will never let him take you away from me."

I osculate on my baby's silky hair and continue mumbling,

"For that, if needed I will leave this place too. I will take you away from his reach."

As the thought strikes my mind, I carefully withdraw myself from his grip and get down from the bed. I need to talk to Mr Morrone. I can't continue with his company. If I don't leave Salvador then my past won't leave me ever. I come to my desk and open the laptop. I have to send my resignation letter to my company. Only then, a deafening thunderbolt shatters the silence of the night. I flinch in fear. Since my childhood, I am scared of lighting and thunder. Again, the lighting cracks the sky making me shiver in dread. I rush towards my bedroom. Maan is alone and the sound may awake him. Only then, lighting again brightens the outside darkness and something catches my baffled eyes. I saunter to the window and stress my eyes to be sure what I have seen just a minute ago. I rest my palm on the windowpane and near my eyes to the glass. At this moment, I want the light again and God heard my prayer. The darkness of the night gets pierced by the lightning along with the earth-shattering roar. Simultaneously, the rain starts and crashes on the glass window. My eyes locate the silhouette standing outside of the fence. The sky is again cracked by the thunderstrike and this time I can recognise the human shadow. It's Manik, standing still amidst the storm. The heaven's drum again roars. He is drenched and completely soaked in the shower. I can't see his face clearly but I know it's emotionless and void of any feelings. Something lamps my throat.

"He is in pain. He needs you."

My inner Goddess whispers in my ears.

"But I don't need him."

My obstinate mind counters. I step back with a jerk from the window.

"I don't care....I don't care you live or die."

I forcefully mumble and storm to my bedroom. Maan is still sleeping. My baby. My Jaan. I lie down beside him, holding him in my arms.

"Please go away...please go away..."

I continuously sob out. I don't know when I fell asleep and how long the storm and thundershower continued. Suddenly a violent bang at my door makes me open my eyes with a jerk. Knock....knock...again the clattering sound brings my full sense back. Is it Manik? My sceptic mind alerts me. I sit squarely on the bed. Maan stirs in his sleep. I pat his back to make him comfortable. KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK...this time the sound is more restless. My heart sinks for a moment. No...I won't open the door.

"Nandini....Abre la puerta (Open the door)

Carlos's restless voice breaks my reverie. I immediately get down from the bed and rush to the main door. It's still raining but the intensity has decreased. I open the door. A gust of moist wind hits my face.

"Un homre yace fuera de la puerta de la letrina." (A man is lying outside of the outhouse gate) "No se si el esta vivo o muerto." (I don't know if he is alive or dead)

Carlos worriedly narrates. For a fraction of a second, I find my voice lost and mind numb.

"Calida no está en casa." (Calida is not at home) "No se que hacer." (I don't know what to do) "¿Debo llamar a la policía?" (Should I call the police?)

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