Azriel | Lux Ex Tenebris ✓

Chapter 3: Shadowsinger's Nightmares

✦Azriel POV✦

The hand grabbed her pale arm tighter, pulling the female closer him. Her eyes displayed so much pain—so, so much pain and they looked dead. Cold, black, dead eyes staring back at me. She let herself drag closer to the male. Fillias. I had only seen him a few times before, the one day we rescued Feyre from the Winter Court, he wasn't there. She melted into his touch and he started kissing her, kissing her shoulders while his hands ran over her shoulders which were now bare. Fillias pulled down the straps of her dress even further, kissing her more harshly. She cried but she obeyed. She let it happen to her. His hands were all over her, grabbing her tightly and roaming around her body. Her ass, her hips, breasts, waist, neck. He kissed her more forceful, I wanted to help her, run towards them, but my shadows chained me to the floor. I had to watch them. I had to watch the scene in front of me. Cassian stood next to me, not doing anything. I tried to shout at him but now words came out of my mouth. My throat was dry and I was mute. She cried more, screamed for help but Fillias did not stop and then she-

I sat up straight in bed. Not again. Not again this nightmare. It was now three nights after I had seen her, Misma, for the very first time and since then these nightmares haunted me. The content of my stomach soured when the pictures replayed in my head. Cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck, sucking in a sharp breath.

What had she done to me?

I ran a hand over my sweaty face, palms rough against my skin. I pushed the damp sheets, that were drenched in my sweat off of me and slowly dragged my legs towards the bathroom. My heart trumped against my rib cage, my legs heavy. 

This had to stop. It could not go on like this.

She wasn't my mate. Or was she? I had no idea, something definitely happened when our eyes met, but I did not know if the bond snapped. I had no what it even would feel like. No, it couldn't have happened. I did not wait for over 500 years to find my mate and then the first time I saw her was also the last time before she married another. That would simply not be....fair.

I let a cold chuckle escape my mouth. Somehow like Rhys and Feyre.

Just that I was no fucking High Lord who could simply go and safe her.

She wasn't my mate, it probably was just because her eyes displayed so much pain and my heart reacted to that.

Her beautiful eyes. Big, dark brown eyes, you could get easily lost in.

They did not really fit her but at the same time fit her perfectly. They were so dark although she displayed so much light.

What did....the other......female call her? Sunshine? Yeah, that was really true. She really was a sunshine in the darkness of the Hewn City. How come I had never seen her before? In the Hewn City.

Fuck, no she was not my mate and I just had to forget her. I needed to forget her, she was going to marry another and according to her she was all right with this decision.

Maybe she loved him, maybe she would start loving him?

Fillias.

He was not worthy of her love. He was cruel and bad and just the thought of him touching her--this cruel disgusting asshole, touching her small innocent frame made me clench my fists so that my knuckles turned white.

I wondered what she was. She had no pointed ears and was rather small, not like Amren, but also not tall like Mor or Feyre and her sisters. I still had a clear picture of her in my face which was odd given the situation. 

I splashed some cold water into my face, looking into the mirror and running a hand through my hair. For a second my gaze was fixed on my scarred hands. I was also not worthy of her love. I was not worthy of touching her.