Azriel | Lux Ex Tenebris ✓

Chapter 41: Oh So Sensitive Wings

✧Misma POV✧

"Yes, Helion told me that this would work, but apperently it was a one time thing. Look, nothing....I once again cannot get rid of this stupid light ball and once again I am a big failure," I groaned, gritting my teeth and glowering at the light ball between my hands. "I am hopeless. A hopeless piece of shit."

I growled under my breath, stomping through the room, the stupid light ball not vanishing from my hands, once again nearly burning through my skin.

"Someone's again a bit moody? You are taking your contraceptive brew or Azriel does, right? So many mood swings lately someone might think you could be pregnant."

My eyes shot open and I spun around, looking at Mor in disbelief.

"Yes, I do and my cycle just happened right before Solstice so everything is fine," I quickly told her.

Had Azriel freaked out when I had started my cycle? Yes, he had. 'So much blood. How are you still alive? What can I do? Do I need to get Madja? Let me do something for you!' And these were only a few of the things he had said while rushing through the flat, nervously collecting things for me. Tea, heated sheets, sweets. Then he had placed his warm, scarred hand on my belly and cuddled me the whole night and the following days.

With my swift turn the light vanished, which was partly good. It was gone yes, but I had no idea why and how it had vanished.

"I am just tired and somehow exhausted and anxious," I then stated, taking a seat next to Mor. She pulled the wool blanked over me as well, nodding and waiting for me to continue.

"Azriel has been gone for three days now. Three days! We cannot communicate through the bond with him being so far away. I am scared that something happens. And then the nightmares started again and in addition, I am hopeless and I am sorry that I am always so whiny," I mumbled, leaning my head against Mor's shoulder.

She chuckled and I felt her shoulder vibrate while one of her arms curled around me.

"Yes, I do understand you. Don't apologise. But he is fine. He has done much more dangerous things and he is still alive, so don't be afraid. And you are absolutely not hopeless, nor a piece of shit," she told me and I nodded my head.

"But since we are in such a whiny state now....do you think Emerie likes me? Like likes me? It is strange sometimes I feel like there is this spark between us and then something happens and the spark vanishes and....and I don't get it," she told me, whispering. I turned a bit, trying to look at her.

"I saw her looking at you and there is absolutely no denying that she likes you. But she is Illyrian I think it might be difficult for her to accept that she likes girls? You know I think Illyrians are very similar to citizens of the Hewn City in regard of that," I told her, a sympathetic smile on my lips and she nodded, a sad tone lacing her features.

"But....maybe you should just talk with her about it. Just talk, just the two of you!" She nodded again, now smiling a bit happier.

"Maybe I should tell her on Starfall? It is in a few weeks?" I nodded and said: "Sure, whenever it feels right for you. But Starfall is definitely a good idea." She squeezed my shoulder, smiling and then Amren stormed in, her tiny feet patting loudly on the floor.

"I hope this is not what it looks like and you are taking a break?" she grumbled, looking at me with a reproachful look. "Get up and train!"

I lifted my hands in defense, pushing the blanket from my lap and following after Amren. I shot Mor a suffering glance, she just chuckled, shrugging her shoulders.

"You know what depends on you, there is no time for breaks! Our world depends on you, Light Bringer"

"I know, I am sorry!"