Azriel | Lux Ex Tenebris ✓

Chapter 28: Darkness, Scars & Everything

~ mature content~

✧Misma POV✧

"Now let's go, Misma. Come on!" Gwyn urged me, pulling on my arm. I tried to at least put on some shoes, only quickly hopping into my slippers while she continued tugging on my hand.

"Gwyn, I really don't want to!" I protested.

But she did not give in, rather grabbed my hand tighter, squeezing it. "He loves you, he is your mate. He thinks he is not worthy of you, that you deserve someone better. That was his problem. And now I spoiled everything, great..." she blabbered, keeping a fierce expression on her face.

My eyes shot wide open, meeting her pleading teal orbs. I gasped, pushing my lower lip forward, pouting. That was the reason, the reason for all of it. Oh, Azriel.

"Why would he think that? That he is not worthy of me? Is it not actually the other way round?" I huffed, now giving in and following after her.

"Because you are perfect and kind and pure and he thinks he is some kind of monster that is not worthy of your love," she panted while we stormed upstairs, dashing through all the levels. I wiped my hand over my face as there were still mostly dried tears there.

We reached the top and Gwyn pulled me out onto one of the balconies where I spotted Nesta, Cassian and...Azriel. They all stood there with expecting but also apologetic faces.

I knew that I probably looked like a mess, still in my nightgown from last night, teary red eyes and ruffled hair. My stomach churned when my gaze once again landed on Azriel.

"Come, Gwyn. We let them talk that out!" Cassian ordered when we reached the others and Gwyn nodded, letting go of my arm and following after Nesta and Cassian who silently slipped through the door behind me.

I lifted my gaze to meet Azriel's eyes. His face was laced with pain and regret, when he started scratching the back of his neck, moving his jaw left and chewing on his lip. Agony radiated from him and I noticed shadows peek over his shoulders.

"Let's talk and let's sit!" I sternly ordered, giving him no chance to say anything first. Azriel bowed his head, both of us moving to the right side of the balcony. He sat down on one of the loungers, waiting for me to take the seat next to him. I waited a second before crouching down in front of him and taking his hands in mine. His eyes went wide while he slowly parted his lips, wanting to say something, but I stopped him again.

"Before you start I want to say something. A lot of things actually. I have no idea how you think that I deserve someone else. Why you are not worthy of me, why you don't deserve me. This is absolute bullshit and you are completely wrong. I am in love with you. I love you, Azriel. The bond probably snapped for me the second I laid eyes on you in the Hewn City. This bond was the only thing that kept me alive in the Autumn Court, the only thing I could hold onto. There was not a single hour where I did not think about you and since then there hasn't been. I love you. I love you so much. For me you are perfect and not some bad person or cruel monster. Yes, you have this job, a job were you hurt people, but it is only your job. It is not who you are. Who you are is what lives in your soul and heart and what I see there is love and kindness and respect and acceptance. I love you so, so much, it is mad. And I do accept the bond, I absolutely do accept it, if you do...too!" I finished, smiling up at him. Tears had built up in his eyes, dampening his lashes and some running freely over his cheeks.

"I love you. The bond snapped for me in that minute too, that was how I found you. I was not patrolling or anything, I felt you through the bond. I love you, Misma," he breathed out, reaching his hands forward and pulling me onto his lap. I sat down, leaning my forehead against his, smiling.