Azriel | Lux Ex Tenebris ✓

Chapter 8: Gwyn Bedara

✧Misma POV✧

I followed Gwyn down to the Library, her holding my hand tightly the whole way. "Thank you, Gwyn-neth," I said to which she chuckled softly.

"Gwyn is fine, and of course. You are very young aren't you?" she queried, when we surrounded a corner.
I nodded. "I guess. I am 64."

A smile tugged on her lips and she squeezed my hand. "Oh my, you are also a baby like me!"
She told me that she was 30, soon to be 31, which was to my mind much younger than I was actually. But compared to our High Lord or similar it really was young.

We stepped foot into the Library and I immediately took in the scent of it. Lovely. Old books, parchment. Simply amazing.

We were greeted by a slim lady wearing a pale robe and a hood with a crown.

High Priestess, probably.

Gwyn quickly explained the situation to her and I greeted her, but got no answer. She just weakly smiled at me and we walked off. A kernel of uncertainty took root in my chest.

"She does not want me here, right?" I whispered and Gwyn shook her head.

"No, no. She can't speak, no worries," she explained. I furrowed my brows, a questioning look on my face."Oh?"
"They cut out her tongue and crippled her fingers. Permanent damage," she breathed out, agony lacing her voice.

My eyes went wide, anguish and sorrow coating my insides. "How terrible," I breathed out and let myself drag further into the library, blinking away my tears.

"Here you go, the dormitories. Rhysand thought it might be good if we share one at the beginning, so that you are not so alone. Is that okay or would you rather like to have a room for yourself?" she questioned, holding open the door.

"No, that is amazing. Thank you. I don't want to be alone now," I told her, grabbing her hand tighter. I did not want to let go of it, not yet. Not when some of the memories suddenly crept back into my mind. And I really did not want to be alone.

"I will fill up a bath for you and put some fresh clothes out for you. Alright?" I bowed my head while I only reluctantly let her slip her hand out of my hold.

Wearily I glimpsed around in the room, sadness and fear once again rising inside of me.

But the room was lovely, so different from my childhood room and so different from the Autumn Court. Dark but also not completely. It was neat and the bedsheets where white. There were two beds, each having a bedside table with a small candle holder on it. On the walls there were books, many books and some plants and a desk.

"You can go in now," Gwyn offered and smiled at me, holding the door to the bathroom open. "Towels are on the sink, there is a fresh tooth brush for you, soap, a brush, a sponge and fresh clothing. If you need anything I will be right here, so just call for me."
I thanked her, trembling legs carrying me to the bathroom and closing the door behind me.

I slowly slipped out of my gown, this awful gown and then my undergarments. The same undergarments he had removed the previous night.

My fingers trembled while silent tears fell onto the bathroom floor. I unclipped my bralette and tossed all three things into the corner of the room, looking after them in disgust. I was going to approach the tub, but turned and went towards the sink and looked into the mirror.

My throat burned, eyes stinging and a wave of shame washing over me. A silent sob broke free, the back of my mouth burning with a scream. In the mirror I noticed my shoulders shake with silent sobs.