(JIKOOK) - The Beast Within Me

Chapter: 13

The day went by slowly, and so goes the continuous scour of dirty ashets, the work that I was commanded to do. Still, I was getting my wages cheque, so I have no choice but to do this work, it was way better than being a cashier. At the same time, the pay wasn't much, but it is good enough for me to get by.

It was almost eight o'clock around closing time, very late. I didn't live that far from my work place, but being this dark, it was very worrisome to walk home alone. I can't waste any money on taxi fair, knowing that my place was so near, so it's better for me to just hurry and finish this stupid work.

I stuffed the bags with trashes, and kicked the back door harshly as it swung open. Stumbling outside, where the piled of garbage's are all tied in a district, overflowing the dustbin that was harboring flies and other insects. The funky smell oozing as I groan, a bit willing to shed tears, I frown, holding my breath before I shove the bag with the others and walked away.

Sighs and whines left my lips exhaustedly, drenched in sweat, I was rushing through mopping, dumping the tool in a bucket filled with soap and Clorox. At first, doing these part-time jobs was very stressful. I was still in school and I had these assignments that I have to give in before the deadline, and test that I have to work hard to past, which, I then ended up getting so tired. But, it was beginning to become very easy after a while, still cannot get used to throwing away those trashes and being the cashier though.

I quickly finish up, closing this building and began my stroll back home. It was freezing cold, and I thank the lord for bringing my jacket. I'm surprised a lot of people would be out at this hour as well. Progressively, I then decided to stop at a small shop to purchase something. Maybe, I should buy a lunch box, to be honest I really don't want to prepare anything so late, so why not.

I got the necessary essential acquirements, along with a few unnecessary ones that I bought on a whim; cash it and hurried on my way home.

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Two hours after, approximately 9: 20pm

I took a warm bath, dragged on my clothes and heated my food before I went to sit around my small table, along with a bottle of apple juice, which I took a sip of, the food smelling as good as I drooled a little. Now, I took the chopsticks and dipped it into the mashed potato, gulping while I stare at it, smoothly penetrating the firm fluffy white mound, I took a bite of it and moan, a smile etched on my face as I did so. It would seems of it I haven't eaten for years, but that didn't stopped me from dying a little inside from the taste, it's been hours since I ate lunch or dinner anyway.

...Jeon Jungkook? It was strange to some extend to be honest, at class we will be sitting beside each other, at lunch we will eat together. Overall, I would always find him being near me, chuckling at that thought, I bite into the sausage.

His friends also turned out to be very nice, and for the most part. Hoseok, Was that his name? He was really funny. The best thing about school was that Soyeon, and her pals. They have been avoiding me, I guess that embarrassment they got from Jungkook in the past did some damage to their self-proclaimed 'ego'. To be direct, it was the ideal life I wanted, but that all came to be because I was Jungkook 'lover', fake actually. I didn't like the idea of being treated with respect so suddenly, just because of a title and not because I am also an individual. Even so, the beggars cannot be choosers.

I sighed, and throw away the container that I had just emptied. It wasn't much, but I was full to some extent. Life under my own steam wasn't the best but it was okay. Sometimes I would feel lonely, others I didn't care, but ever since I meet Jungkook. It's like I yearn for someone to chat with.

It was quite randomly annoying. One second I would be studying, and out of nowhere I feel the desire to call him up. Twenty percent of the day was my concern for work, and the leftovers were me thinking about him. I know these sounds like a strange obsession for someone I was pretending to 'love', but hypothetically, was that I wasn't used to being so close to anyone from school, or any places for that matter. He is my first 'friend', and 'pretend boyfriend', I lay on my bed and looked over some work.

Now that I think about it, I wonder why people hate math so much. It's fun if you understand the concept behind it, mostly like solving a puzzle that is not so difficult. The thing that I find so enjoyable about it was that it requires logic and rack brains, something that I am so good at using. Being such a quick learner is a plus, I don't have to study so hard just one quick read and I am done. My IQ level is high, making me a real genius. I don't brag about it but I don't deny it either. First I would hate others who called me a nerd or geek, as if it's like an endless disease. I enjoy reading books, studying and getting good grades, though I hate parties it's not like I wouldn't go. The only reason I wouldn't even go is that, everyone would poke fun at me and bully me for being gay, I wouldn't even get invited, and let's just say one word, 'Soyeon'.

Eventually, I thought they were all right. Luckily my gran gran was there. She encourages me, and teaches me to not care what others might think about you, that their words are insignificant, and doesn't define who you actually are. That I should enjoy doing what I love, and that they only bullied me because they themselves are actually insecure about something. She told me that people are envious over the things that you have, but they don't and that is the world we are living in right now.

Though sometimes I end up breaking down over these bullying's. I still remind myself after that I am strong and should not ponder over such people who only care for their looks and images, and my gran gran words. She was like my mother, a person I could count on for comfort. At times, I would miss her warmth, and end up feeling down about it. Gran gran is everything to me; I wouldn't give her up for the world or think about a world that I would live in without her, as she is everything that I would ask for.

I thought about visiting her a lot of times, knowing her she must be missing me so much, and so was I. I still remember how upset she was when I told her that I am going to move into my own apartment. I didn't want to stress her out but instead lessen the stress on her, as I provide for myself and learn to be independent. But maybe that was me blindly being hard on myself, and I think she notices which is why she was so upset. However, she didn't question me any further about it knowing that I would not have changed my mind, and I thanked her for that.