Eyes Of Muniz

Chapter 30

Michael was awoken by the slamming of the bathroom door. It was past twelve midnight. He realized Marisa was not in bed. Michael followed her to the bathroom and she was throwing up. He reluctantly went and held her hair up. Michael wondered what his life would have been if he hadn't got himself in this situation. He could be sleeping in the bed right now. He didn't want to think that Marisa was partly the reason why he was also here.
Marisa brushed her teeth and went back to bed. Michael was sitting on the bed when she walked in.
"Thank you" Marisa said.
"You're welcome. Are you okay?"
" I'm okay, I just feel nauseous" Marisa answered him. He had went to bed angry and she had not been able to get an answer on whom Herbert was. She knew it was not her business and Michael wouldn't disclose anything personal to her.
"Do you need anything?" Michael asked her. He didn't care what she wanted, he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep.
"I need you to go back to sleep" Marisa said fixing her bed cover. She knew he didn't not want to stay up.
"Why?"
"Because I know you don't want to be any part of this. I feel like a burden right now and I am getting that feeling from you" Marisa said.
"I can't say I don't feel heavy with you constantly needing my help" Michael said walking to the couch.
"And it's going to get much heavier because I am here for a long time" Marisa shot back. She couldn't be immune to his insults no matter how much she could try.
"I'm glad you are because I get to succeed and make you watch me do it" Michael said. He knew what he was saying was wrong but he had been keeping a grudge. She had turned him down on the flight there and she had been trying to dig up his past.
"I'm happy to watch you Michael because it makes me feel good about myself. I helped you get here" Marisa said.
"And no one will give you the credit for that" Michael said sliding into the couch. He hated the fact that she was talking back. One more word from her and he was sure he was going to snap.
"You're right" Marisa said giving in. She knew she could never win. It was bugging her why he was angry like that. It was midnight and she had done nothing wrong.
"I am always right" he remarked. He was glad she chose to back down. He did not hear her reply. Michael lay awake for ten minutes and his thoughts were drowning him. He wondered if Marisa was still awake. Michael knew he was not supposed to talk to her like that. The doctor had told him that he had to be there for her. Besides, his conscience was telling him he was being a jerk. He really was afraid that if he gives her that attention he would fell for her. She was bewitching in a way he'd never seen. Marisa was quiet and laid back but he knew she would do so much damage to him.
"Michael, I can't sleep" Marisa's voice yanked Michael from his thoughts. He was surprised that she was still awake.
"Me neither. Can I come and join you in bed?" Michael asked her.
   "Join me?"
"Yes, I won't do anything. I just want to keep you company that's all" Michael told her. He was not planning on touching her but he was also hoping he wouldn't.
   "Okay, sure" Marisa creating space for him. Michael got off from the couch and went the bed. He slid into the bed.
"Why don't you hold a grudge against me?" Michael asked Marisa. She changed her position and faced him as she lay.
   "Because I have come to terms that you may have been hurt and you want to find comfort in hurting others as well. I just happened to be your victim and that's just how life is" Marisa replied him. She was nervous that they were in the same bed but she tried not to show it.
"I have never been hurt" He said to her.
  "I don't expect you to admit that to me" Marisa said. There was a reasonable wave of silence and Michael didn't know what else to say.
"Herbert is my father, Marisa" Michael said slowly. He didn't know why he was saying it to her but he felt like telling her. Last time he had told someone about it was when he had told Olivia and she had lashed out at him for being weak. He wondered if Marisa was going to do the same.
  "Where is he now?" Marisa knew exactly what was happening now. He was opening up. She had to be careful not to scare him off.
"He's where he deserves to be right now" Michael said bitterly.
  "Is he alive?"
"Yes, he is in prison. He's been there for eight years now" Michael said. He examined Marisa's expression.
  "Why do you hate him?" Marisa asked him.
"I don't hate him" Michael said.
  "It sounds like so. The way you are talking about him sounds like you hate him" Marisa said softly.
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this" He said.
    "Talk to me, Michael" Marisa told him.
"Why should I tell you things like that?"
   "Because I am listening" Marisa said and she was going to listen. Michael was silent for a long time then he finally sighed.
"I never lacked anything ever since I was a child. I had everything I wanted. My father just was not there. It was like he hated me and my mother. What hurts me the most is how much that woman loved him to her death. He cheated on her with every opportunity he got and he didn't care" Michael said with utmost bitterness.
  "How does that make you feel or how has it made you feel?"
"Sad, angry and more angrier than ever. He'd bring home some women who would assult my mom and she was weak and so was I. He did nothing to protect her" Michael said. He was not crying but he saw that Marisa was about to.
   "Why is he in prison?"
"A woman he had been with turned up dead in his private jet. He couldn't get out of it because the lady's father was much more powerful than he was and he sank. I have never seen him ever since he went to prison" Michael said.
   "You want to see him" she said to him.
"I don't want to" he said unsure.
   "Yes you do. You need to get closure from him. You need to hear what he has to say to you and what he thinks about what happened. If you don't face those demons you are going to destroy everything around you. It doesn't make you weak that it happened but what's weakening you is letting what happened turn you into the person you're not" Marisa told him.
"What do I have to do then?"
    "Go and see him when you think you're ready and talk to him. Don't make yourself the monster you are not. You are going to be a father soon and you have to be a good father to your child than your father was to you" Marisa said to him. He looked straight at her and gave a weak smile. She was perfect. He didn't know why he felt that she was not his type.
"Thank you, Marisa" he said. He took her and put her in his arms. She rested on his chest and slowly closed her eyes. Michael decided that he will not be sleeping in the couch anymore but here, on the bed with her.