Riot (A Fred Weasley x Reader story)

5:10

a/n: CW this chapter has a lot of angst and emotions. its kind of dark. viewer discretion is advised. love you all <3

Your POV

Christmas came and went pretty quickly with Ron around to talk to. It was nice to sit down with him by the fire and him just... Listen to me. Of course, we never had any sort of long conversation without snacks, but having someone there after so long of bottling everything up made the entire Holiday break so much more bearable.

The necklace that was anonymously gifted to me clung to my neck all day, everyday. Just like the crystal one Hermione had given to me our very first year at Hogwarts, I never took it off. I admired the constellation, although having no idea which one it was, and loved the way the silver felt on my skin. I kept it underneath my shirt most of the time to limit the questions I may receive from it, but the knowing that it was there was something made for me and only me. It was something special.

I didn't know I could feel such an attachment to an object of this sort, but I did. From the second I had laid my hand on the necklace, the buzz it gave me, the way it felt while around my neck and pressing into the skin of my chest was natural.

Even with the new joy the simple necklace gave me, I was still in a state of grief. Mourning the loss of a man I never got to meet, but felt like I had known all my life. It was superfluous, I knew that, but something couldn't stop the floodgates from opening when the simple name Regulus was ever so slightly mentioned.

The dreams were worse, though.

It had gotten to a point where Fred would have to sleep by my side all night, and even with his comfort, he couldn't put a stop to the terrors.

That may be the wrong word to use. Terrors. They weren't nightmares, but they weren't happy dreams either. My head was clogged and it was prevalent, coming in odd forms when I went to sleep.

I would dream about him. From the simple story Sirius had told me when explaining how I reminded him of his brother, my mind was able to create wild dreamscapes about him, all causing me to wake in cold sweats.

I didn't believe Fred at first when he told me that I had begun to speak in my slumber, saying words such as "Don't take him" and "Please, don't leave yet", but as the dreams continued, I began to accept the fact that Regulus was taking over my mind.

I wished that Sirius hadn't told me about him. Yes, he had given me a new sight into myself, but something about not knowing the person that could have helped me the most was sickening and it was mentally draining to ponder on.

We were riding the train back to Hogwarts, Fred's hand was clasped over mine. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling, the weighing emotions of grief, unsettlement and depression hanging over my head like a storm cloud, but I didn't want to worry him. He was always so cheerful and telling him would only wipe the smile from his face. That smile was what made me smile. How could I take that from him? How could I take that from myself?

Being completely honest, I was scared to see my father again. I didn't know how I was going to act around him after what he had done to me. He had pulled such a horrid memory from my mind with out giving me a defense against him. How was I supposed to fight him off if I hadn't a clue how?

Harry and I were starting Occulmency lessons, Harry because of Voldemort and me because Snape wanted to keep me safe. But what exactly did he want to keep me safe from?

Our first day back at Hogwarts, whilst readying ourselves for the start up of our classes, I walked towards the castle with Fred, alongside George and Lee. My hand was intertwined with my boyfriends and just by the simple touch and the cold January air filling my lungs, I began to feel a small bit better than before.