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The calming draught from Dumbledore sent El into an odd half-asleep state for a few hours, now she was sat on the sofa in silence staring straight ahead, wearing the jumper James had left out for her before he'd gone on his mission. Lily was cautiously perched on the armchair, bouncing her knee and biting her nails.

"Do you want tea?" Lily asked, breaking the heavy silence of the flat.

El shook her head.

"I think you should eat something."

"Not hungry."

"Do you want a hug?" Lily stood to take a cautious step closer.

El didn't even bother to look at her, "Evans, you come near me and i will break your arm."

Lily sat back down. "I think you should try get some sleep."

"Not tired."

"El—"

"You can go home, Evans. I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm not leaving you here by yourself," Lily said firmly, "i'm gonna cook you some food, you are gonna eat it, then you are gonna go to sleep."

If El was shocked by Lily's change of tone, she did not show it, ignoring the girl as she began to bustle around the kitchen.

"My mum always said pasta was the best kind of comfort food," Lily began to measure out some pasta into a pan, "she always used to make me mac and cheese whenever i was sad."

"I don't know what that is," El grumbled.

"You don't know what mac and cheese is?!" Lily asked, as if the question had offended her personally.

"My mother didn't let me eat cheese, she said it would make me fat," El replied, her tone unchanging.

"There's nothing wrong with being fat," Lily said calmly, "mac and cheese makes it worth it."

El didn't reply, she pulled a cigarette from her pocket, producing a flame in her hand to light it. She stood and trudged to the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of firewhiskey—actual firewhiskey this time.

Lily turned to see what she was doing, "no, you aren't drinking, that's no way to deal with grief."

"Not everyone grew up with parents to cook them mac and cheese when they were sad," El snapped, moving to take a sip before Lily snatched the bottle from her hand.

"Well you have someone cooking it for you now."

The flat remained quiet while Lily cooked, accompanied by the occasional sound of El inhaling and exhaling her cigarette smoke. Lily placed two bowls on the kitchen table, both filled to the brim with enough mac and cheese to feed a quidditch team.

"Before you say you're not hungry, i know that's a lie because you haven't eaten all day. It will make you feel better if you do, i promise," Lily smiled kindly.

El prodded the pasta with her fork, then took a tentative bite.

"It's good, isn't it?"

El nodded, then after a moment of silence, said, "thank you," she placed another forkful in her mouth. "If the shoe was the on the other foot i probably wouldn't have been this nice to you."

Lily shrugged, smiling weakly, "i know."

They fell back into silence as they ate, the half eaten mac and cheese being put into the fridge when they'd had all they could manage.

"You should get some sleep, we can go see Sirius and Remus later if you want," Lily suggested.

"I can't just sleep while James is Merlin knows where," El said, the calming draught still causing her to appear tired.

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