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"Is that a good 'oh' or a bad 'oh'?" Marlene asked cautiously.

El turned the test so Marlene could see it.

Two blue lines.

The test was positive.

"Shit," El's head fell into her hands. She was shaking, her mind working five times the speed it normally does.

"What are you gonna do?" Marlene whispered, placing the test down on the counter.

"I don't want kids. I never wanted kids."

"Are you gonna tell James?"

El exhaled deeply like the air was being punched out of her, "if i do it's like i'm dangling the idea of kids in front of him and then snatching it away."

Marlene knelt down in front of her, "i know you don't want kids, and this isn't me telling you what to do, but less than two years ago you didn't want to be in a relationship, and now you're engaged. James is a bit of a twat sometimes, but he would be a fucking amazing dad."

"I can't marry him."

"What?! El—"

"He's gonna want kids, fuck," she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands, "he should marry someone he can have kids with, he'll resent me if i'm the reason he never has any."

"Don't be fucking ridiculous. He wants you, if he has kids, he's gonna want them to be yours. The man is mad about you, El. He has Sirius anyway, we don't need another child."

El gave a teary laugh. "I feel so bad," she whispered.

"Don't," Marlene placed a comforting hand on each of El's knees. "Talk to him, tell him about it. I'm not saying you have to keep it, but i think if you don't keep it, you should at least talk to James first."

"It's my decision," El said bluntly.

"I know, and i support whatever decision that is and so will James, so i think you should tell him."

"Okay, i'll tell him this evening, i have a patrol of Hogsmeade to do today." She patted her eyes dry and stood up.

"What time does that start?" Marlene asked.

"Midday."

"Are you sure you wanna do that today? I can cover for you if you want," Marlene offered.

"No, i'll be fine. I'll. . .deal with it later."

"El—"

"Thank you, Marls, but it will be fine, don't worry," El hugged her, "I'll see you soon."

El was already half way out the front door before Marlene could say anything.

The patrol of Hogsmeade was probably one of the least productive ones El had been on, her mind was elsewhere for the duration of the three hour mission. Someone could have hit her with the crutiatus curse and she would not have noticed.

They finished outside The Three Broomsticks. "You wanna go for a drink?" Morgan asked, snapping El out of the trance she had been in.

El almost said yes at first, "no, thank you though." She hadn't taken that into account before; no drinking or smoking when pregnant. For fucks sake. "James is probably waiting for me."

She bid her goodbyes to Morgan, then returned to London. James was waiting on the sofa when she returned, and stood instantly when he heard the front door open.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

El smiled distractedly at him, not quite meeting his eye, "yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

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⏰ Last updated: May 26, 2022 ⏰

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