MAKNAE [twd]

【136】

Returning outside of the clearing into the fight that raged on inside the Hilltop walls was like day and night as the two sceneries were so polar opposite.

I'd hardly remembered much a I followed behind Rick- him screaming orders and information of the tainted weapons to everyone we passed by. Before long, the Saviors seemed to split in half as some ended up retreating back outside the walls, jumping in their vehicles, and leaving.

The five communities that were banded together chased after them until Rick called for everyone to stop and regroup. Kal and Daniel were the ones to slam the gates closed, everyone nearly falling over in exhaustion or pain from their fight put up.

I found myself on one knee, using my bat as a prop to stay up.

"This isn't over," Rick announced, "Not yet."

My head lolled forward as I felt dad's hand on my arm as he whispered, "Maknae, are you okay?"

"I'm fi-" was all I could get out before collapsing in his embrace.

--

Waking up to the ceiling of the infirmary, I was taken aback by the sight of Siddiq walking past my bed as he hummed a soft tune to himself.

As I raise my head, I'm met with Taeyang softly easing me back down, "Don't get up. Siddiq just got you all wrapped up- don't make the poor guy have to redo it all."

I could feel the bandages that decorated my body- the sticky, the tightness, and the blood not flowing out something easy to catch on to.

"Jae," was all I could say as I rested my head back on the pillow.

"Daryl, Tara, and Daniel left to go get him. Ben's with Jessie. Ben's.. He's taking it just as well as you would expect. He said he'd stop by and see you once you're up."

"Everyone else.. Are they okay?" I worry.

"Maggie is resting- she's with Sasha, Enid, and Jesus. I told her that I'd let her know when you're up. Rosita.. Well, Rosita's right there," he points.

I look past his arm where Rosita was asleep in another infirmary bed, Tara in the chair beside her. When Tara sees me, she gives a soft smile and a gentle wave.

"Rick, Carl, and Michonne were doing rounds to see if anyone was hit by one of those tainted weapons. Your dad and Tina are helping do cleanup with everyone else."

Taeyang's hand rubs soothing caresses onto my tense frame, sending a smile that tried to give hope.

"Everyone is doing okay.. Really, Hana," he assures, "We're just.. We're just picking up the pieces after that."

By picking up the pieces it's clear that he meant scrubbing the blood of the walls, clearing the bodies, burying those that we called our friends and family, and tending to one another's wounds.

"I killed Negan.. Then, Jae.." I swallow down the lump that formed, "Is that karma?"

"No.. No, Hana," Taeyang sighs, scooting closer, "It's a war. Jae.. Jae was doing his best to help everyone he could."

"When Jae and I met.. I thought I was gonna gate him," I remember, "But, now, it feels like a piece of me just went with him."

Taeyang still didn't know the full story as to how I met Jae and Daniel- no one outside of the three of us did.

That guy that I'd threatened when Daniel and I were trying to escape.. He was now a brother that I lost. And he left a gaping whole in my chest when he went.

"He's family," Taeyang agrees, "Do you.. Do you wanna see him when they get back?"

"I don't know," I admit.

When I didn't get the chance to see Glenn's body, I freaked out and thought he was still here. Everyone else, for the most part, I got to see after. It either helped the wounds and allowed me to move on, or just reminded my brain that the people we'd lost were truly gone after all.

"They should be back soon," Taeyang figures, "Daniel is gonna let me know when they get back. You have awhile to decide, so just rest up."

"How's Cyndie?" I decide on asking instead.

"She's good.. Natania wants to speak with you once you're up to it. But, Oceanside is doing a lot better. Not sure if that's because all this is almost over of it it's because Cyndie killed Simon, but.. Something worked out there."

I nod, looking at our interlocked hands as we fall into a small silence. I could still feel the overwhelming tiredness seeping in my blood, then again it could also be lack of said blood.

Glancing back up to Taeyang, I watch his focused eyes that stared at whatever he was doodling invisibly on my hand. Though it hurt, I pull my hand up to rest against his cheek.

"What about you?" I question, "How are you, Tyang?"

He forces a semblance of a smile, placing his hand over mine, "I'm trying, Hana. I'm really trying."

"Talk to me. It's my body in pain, not my head," I plead.

"Yeah, sure," he huffs, "Carson said that you probably have a concussion on top of everything."

Carson.. I look around the room for a second as I soon find the doctor himself quick at work. He had his own bandages on from his time with the Saviors, even a busted lip and bruised eye. But, he was alive. Among the chaos, Jae had managed to also save Carson.

"It's okay enough to hear you," I assure, looking back to Taeyang, "Hearing you makes me feel better, anyway."

"It's just a bit of everything," he admits carefully, "I want to be happy that we're a huge step forward but.. But, we lost something today. A big piece of us. And I know that all this started because we lost something. And I also know that this isn't completely over and we could still lose more."

He blinks and I panic as I could just make out the tears that adorned the bottom of his eyelids.

"God, Hana.. I mean, we almost lost you in all this. Maybe.. Maybe if we didn't go to the Sanctuary, things would've been better off."

"If we didn't go, we never would've known about the weapons and then we would've lost even more if people starting turning here. Negan would still be alive. Carson would've died here because they made a lesson out of him. Julie was right for us to go."

Taeyang sighs, resting more of his weight against my palm.

"And don't think about the maybes. We can't change what already happened," I add, brushing a thumb under his eye.

"I know we can't change it.. But, I really want to If only for him."

"Me too," I agree.

Jae- if we could go back just to save him.. If only for him.

--

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

highkey surprised by the way yall reacted to jae being killed off bc no one trusted him for the longest time skdkdkw

also hey if you didnt see my wall a little TMI that ive started my meds and so im trying to adjust to them :)

if i miss a day update every now and then just know my med was probably kicking my ass that day