MAKNAE [twd]

【137】

"Really.. It really surprised me," dad admits with a breath of a laugh, "I know this new world changes people. I know that you've been through more than I can imagine. But, you really surprised me today, maknae."

I keep quiet, looking to our enclosed hands. He was talking through his thoughts, I wasn't sure how to react or when to add my own input.

After all, what does a parent say in this situation? When dad and I last saw each other, we were closer than ever, Angela was alive, and I was nothing like the person I was now.

Back then, I was a kid that seemed more like a shadow to him and Angela. As I told Deanna, life itself was opposite as we kept our highest regards to our reputation and looks.

How could I even begin to understand how that little girl is now the one laying in a bed in an infirmary, battered and bruised to hell and back for the sake of killing a person and helping lead a war?

"But," he begins, looking to me with a gentle smile, "I'm really proud of you."

I nod, keeping down that part that wanted to cry. I did enough of that yesterday after Negan.

"But, I'm more concerned with how you feel. How are you? And I don't mean the injuries or anything.. Do you feel better? Do you feel like you've been able to move on any?"

"I.." I pause- how did I feel?

Negan was dead. I killed him. He wouldn't hurt me, my family, friends, or anyone else again. The man that killed Glenn was gone.

Simon was also dead- the bloodthirsty monster that craved brutality. Ron- who threatened Ben's life and sold me out, he would've done it to anyone else as well.

Multiple Saviors have already crossed over, surrendering so that they could live in peace alongside the five communities already together. There weren't many of the 'Negan' Saviors left now. It was only a matter of time until they were all gone.

We lost people.. A lot of really good, strong, people who counted as family.

And maybe, just maybe, that's how the war was decided it was over. It started for me when Negan killed Glenn, now it ends with Jae's death. 

I ended up seeing Jae's body- though Tina and Taeyang helped me to stand most of the time, I was there when the others buried him.

Everyone else was okay. We would finish picking up the pieces, cleaning our homes, and tending to our wounds. And just as I've made it through the war while honoring Glenn, the rest of us would live on in honor of those we lost during the fights.

"I'm.. I'm almost okay," I decide.

"'Almost okay'? That's a new one," dad muses.

"We won, but we lost a lot on the way to winning. I made it through the fight, but I'm still injured and I still feel those people we lost. Wins and losses," I measure the balance, "So, I'm almost okay."

"Well, if my maknae is 'almost okay' then I'm almost okay, too," dad smiles, rubbing my head gently.

--

Defenses and guards stayed up as the cleanup and healing continued.

First, we made it through the first couple days.

Then, we made it through the first week.

Then, the second week.

"Maybe with Simon and Negan both gone.. Maybe the others bolted," Michonne offers.

"What? They just gave up?" Jesus wonders, "After that much of a fight, they just skip town?"

"It could be.. The rest don't want to live in a ghost town and left. Or.." Rick sighs.

"Or they're pulling a Governor and could come back when we least expect it," I finish for him.

"Yeah.. That," Rick nods.

"All right.. Then, we don't let our guards down in case the pricks come back," Daryl voices.

"We can't keep sleeping on top of one another here. We're gonna have to go back home. Alexandria still needs to be cleared, cleaned, and restored," Michonne reminds.

"Kingdom as well. The damage isn't as bad as Alexandria, but it still needs to be fixed up," Carol adds.

"We'll start going in teams to clean them up. Until then, it's safest that we stay here at Hilltop," Rick says, glancing over to Maggie, "If you'll have us, that is."

"You're family," Maggie reminds, "Stay as long as you need."

"Okay," Rick nods, "Then, we start distributing teams and supplies to fix our homes."

--

Since Kingdom was the least damaged, it only took a couple weeks until the residents were returning to their home. Carol left with them, deciding to choose the Kingdom as she felt most at home there.

And still, our guards stayed high in anticipation of any Saviors return.

Rick and I spoke as I reminded him it took the Governor a year or so to make his return. Rick agreed, saying that that only meant we should hurry our work and make our communities more secure.

As work for Alexandria restoration began, we had another community to remember as well.

"We can trade supplies, but I'm starting to think that ours can't hold out for the work. It's been two months since everything went down.. I think Oceanside is ready to go back home," Cyndie explains.

"I know," I admit, setting down the expansion plans I was working on, "I've been talking to Rick and Maggie about it."

"It's your call," Cyndie reminds with a smile.

"It's your call," I rephrase, "I told you- mine was only temporary."

"We all agreed that we'd appreciate it if it wasn't temporary.."

"What do you mean?" I question.

"I mean.. You saved us all. You helped me take out Simon- I never could've done it if not for you."

"I knew that you needed to do it," I shrug off the day I kicked the gun to her, "Just like me."

"Exactly. You knew I needed to do it because you know our people. You know me, Hana. So.. On behalf of Oceanside, could you join us? Join us and lead full time?"

"Carson said that Maggie is due in four months or so," I recall, "I.. I really don't know if I can be away from her at all right now."

"I get that," Cyndie nods, "Oceanside and Hilltop are closer than the rest.. The position is open whenever you're ready for it."

"I'll think about it," I agree.

Cyndie smiles and I move to stand up, the two of us enclosing in a warm hug.

"Thank you," she whispers, "For getting us through this."

"Thank you," I rephrase once more, "For giving me the chance."

The hug lasts a little longer, both soon finding tears cascading down our cheeks as we pull away. Seeing the tears, we both release gentle laughs, wiping them away and holding hands.

"We'll call you once we're back home."

"I'll be here," I assure.

--

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

what would you all say if i told you this book was ending soon?
🤸‍♀️🕳