It's Our Secret

Chapter 8 - 3:52am

"I met India Harrison tonight," I said to Keira, as Leah and I facetimed her from the couch.
"See, you are making friends!" Keira said, proudly.
"I guess so," I laughed back.

"How are you, Lee?" Keira asked Leah.
"Yeah I'm alright." I grabbed Leah's hand as she said this, out of the camera's view. I gave it a slight squeeze, and she smiled softly.
"Well, you can always ring me, with anything," Keira said, reassuringly.
"Thanks Kie."

"No sisterhood for us this week," Keira said, laughing.
"I wonder how Mum and Dad are going to take it," I replied back. This weekend will be the first time I will have to verse Keira, ever. I have never not been on her team, excluding training drills and friendly games. It felt weird.
"They're going to be screaming at the tv not knowing which side to cheer for," Keira answered. Due to covid, there are no spectators allowed at the games, so for this momentous occasion for both Keira and me, our parents aren't allowed to be there.
"That's so sucky," I said, "that they won't be able to be there."
"Yeah it really is. But, we organised dinner after the game, at home. You're coming to that."
"Yeah, of course. Is Luce going to be there?"
"Yeah, I think so. I told her she is coming."
"Again, so bossy!"
"Well, I'm bossy by nature! Stop being rude." We both fell laughing, and Leah was bemused by our silliness.

We soon said goodnight, and hung up the facetime. I looked at Leah, who was sitting on the couch, looking at her phone. She looked so peaceful, so at ease. I could watch her forever. Her blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail, and long legs laid across the couch. I tried to stop staring, but I couldn't. It was impossible.

I got up from the couch, and headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. But as I passed Leah, she reached out for my hand. I was surprised by this action, but as I looked at her, and saw her big eyes looking up at me, I knew what she was doing. I knew she had so much to say but didn't know how to.
"Etts, thank you. You're my life saviour." I smiled at this, and reached down, and embraced her in a hug.
"It's okay," I whispered into her ear. I kissed the top of her head, and then walked to the bathroom.

I had a shower, and got into bed, but again, I couldn't sleep. Why did this keep happening? Why were my thoughts being more intrusive than usual?
I checked my phone and it was 3:52am. Thankfully, I had no training the next day, but it still frustrates me when I can't sleep.
Similarly to the previous night, I heard a creak at my door, and a figure came into the frame.
"Ettie," Leah said, softly, "are you awake?"
"Yeah, are you okay?"
"No, I can't sleep."
"Come here," I said. This felt as if it was an exact repeat from the other night. As if it was the same night repeated twice. As I wrapped my arms around her, I whispered into her ear.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked her.
"Too many things," she replied. She turned her body to have our faces looking at each other. Although it was dark, I could still see the silhouette of her features. I had the strongest urge to reach up and touch her cheek.
"It's okay to be confused, and upset."
"I know, I just hate this feeling." Leah always tried to be strong, and put on a face that shows no signs of weakness. But I can tell it's pulling her down. It's a huge weight that she can't get rid of.
"I can understand. I feel it too." As I said this, I saw the outline of her eyes look straight into mine. She did what I was too scared to do. She reached her hand out and placed it on my cheek, and smiled. I'm not sure what she meant, but I knew I liked it. It felt reassuring, as if I wasn't making it all up in my head. She leant in and placed a kiss on my forehead, similar to what I did earlier that evening. I smiled at this, and wanted something more. Something deeper. But I couldn't push. After everything she has been through, she needs to be the one dictating the steps. Dictating the pace. I wasn't even too sure what any of this meant.

"Leah..." I tried to start saying, but before I could, she had a hand on my waist, and her lips on mine. It was a soft, tentative kiss. It was short, and as she pulled away, she gave me a look. She didn't know how I was going to react. I was slightly shocked at how forward she was, and how she wasn't scared. Wasn't worried.
She then lay on her back, as I was trying to gather my thoughts. I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to be close with her again. So, I took a leap. Took a jump. I turned over, and pressed my lips against hers, but this time harder. She returned the kiss, and soon, I was on top of her, kissing her tightly. Her arms were wrapped around my back as my legs straddled her waist. The kiss was fierce, and hungry, and as I tried to pull back, to catch a breath, she wouldn't let me. Neither of us would. We both wanted it. So badly. We both needed it, in a sense.

She ran her hands through my long, brown hair, and I had my hands on her cheeks, guiding our kiss. It was fluid, it was telepathic. It felt like we had done this hundreds of times.
"Leah," I said, in between our kisses, "we shouldn't." I pulled back, and sat up, getting off her and laying beside her.
"Yeah," she said, running her hands through her blonde hair.
"We can't go too crazy," I said, laughing.
"I guess not," she replied laughing.

We both soon fell asleep, in each other's arms, still unsure what this all meant. She hadn't sorted anything out with Jordan, and I was the competition. I was the opponent.

Although she and Jordan were on a break, was I the 'other girl?' I didn't like that feeling. But I can't pretend I didn't love being close with Leah yesterday. It felt right. It felt more right than with anyone else.

And also, what about Keira? Her best friend and twin sister. Her best friend and twin sister. That can't happen. I can't do that to her. Whatever this was between Leah and me, it had to be our secret. It's our secret.