It's Our Secret

Chapter 49 - Tillies Vs Lionesses

Over the next few weeks, life felt somewhat normal. I trained everyday, pushing myself harder and harder, trying to prove that I wasn't sick. Trying to show that I had way more than a year left in me. I knew I did. I had so much left to prove.

We were scheduled to play United in Manchester. I love travelling up to Manchester as it means I am able to see my family, who I normally don't get to see a lot of due to my hectic schedule. Unfortunately, Keira will be down in London the weekend I'm in Manchester, which means we will miss each other.

"Why did you have to be playing United when I'm down in London!" Keira said, as we facetimed the night before I went up to Manchester and she came down to London.

"Kie, I don't control the season's schedule!" I joked back.

"Have you figured it out yet?" Keira asked me, referencing Leah and Hayley.

"Well, Hayley's not talking to me so it's all pretty messed up." Hayley had been silent the last few weeks. She hadn't replied to my message and I knew she was angry. She had every right to be. I can't blame her for that.

"She's been pretty down," Keira said, "not her normal, lively self." This only reignited the fact that I knew I needed to talk to her, and figure everything out, properly. I can't go around hurting two people I love so much.

"I need to sort my shit out," I said to Keira, notably stressed.

"Yeah, Ett, you kind of do." I gave her a look over the phone, to show her that that comment wasn't helpful, but we both could only end up laughing.

"Kie, I really don't know what to do." I said this honestly and vulnerably, hoping my twin had something to help me.

"Listen, Ett, I know you don't know what to do, and sometimes that is life. Some things are hard, and you have to make decisions in life that will inevitably hurt someone. But right now, you're only hurting both of them, and more importantly, yourself. You need to work out exactly who you are and what you want in life. You need to prioritise yourself. I've watched you for too many years put others before you, and Ettie, please, can you think about yourself first? Just this one time." I thought about it for a second, before nodding my head.

"Ok," I replied, "I will."

"I love you, Ett, and I need you to find that love for yourself again." A few months back, I thought that Keira had lost her telepathy with me. I thought that she wasn't able to feel what I felt anymore. Only now have I realised that I was wrong. She always knew how I felt, and this is the prime example.

"I love you too."

We travelled up to Manchester the next day. I sat at the back of the bus with Millie, Erin and Sam. We were laughing and chatting, having the best time together. Millie and I ending up getting very bored, so she decided to go live on instagram.

"Hey everyone," Millie said into the phone, "We're very bored right now so shoot through some questions and miss Juliette Walsh and I will answer them."

"And me!" Erin said, popping up behind us.

"And me too!" Sam added.

"Ok, someone asked what has been our favourite on field memory. Etts?" 

"Probably winning the FA Cup, last year. It was such a surreal thing to do, and it was a very significant date in the history of women's football and I am just proud that I got to be a part of it."

"Sam?" Millie then asked.

"Well, winning the quarterfinals at the Olympics was pretty special." I turned behind to look at her, and she chuckled. I gave her a slight jab in the rib cage.