Tenjo pressed play. Please, please let this work!
(shows an outside shot of Planet Vegeta with the sound of an infant crying being heard)
NARRATOR: Long ago, on a planet long forgotten by time...a young hero was born. A righteous Saiyan warrior who would bring peace to the galaxy. This...is not his story.
"Well, then who the heck is it about then?" Beerus asked. He didn't like not being in the know.
This is the story of another Saiyan warrior, who slaughtered millions of innocents and brought terror to those who heard his name. And that name is...
("Bardock: Father of Goku Abridged" appears on the screen)
"Wait, my dad!?" Goku thought, shocked. Vegeta was also shocked, The Saiyan combat scientist?!
(Cut to Bardock and his crew in their Ōzaru forms causing a rampage on Planet Kanassa with "Dare" by Stan Bush playing in the background. By morning, all of the Kanassans have been exterminated and shows everyone but Bardock laughing.)
The deities looked on in disgust, while the Universe 6 Saiyans were in shock. They'd massacred an entire planet and were laughing and joking with each other!
SHUGESH: And then I tell the guy, "Don't be angry, I'm just Saiyan!" (everyone but Bardock start laughing) And then I tore out his throat.
"Nice," Vegeta commented, smirking.
(silence)
TORRA: Hey, Bardock, heard you had another kid. Congrats. Who's the mom?
SHUGESH: I bet it's Fasha. I see the way you two look at each other.
Gine looked at Bardock curiously. "What? WHAT? You of all people know that Shugesh is a total moron." Bardock defended.
BARDOCK: Nah, it'd never work out between us.
TORRA: Why not?
BARDOCK: Are you kidding? She's a raging dyke.
"That too," Bardock said.
FASHA: I'm right here, you asshole!
Both BARDOCKS: And?
FASHA: God, this is why I hate men.
Both BARDOCKS: Point proven.
SHUGESH: So, uh, why did we attack this rock in the first place?
BARDOCK: I dunno. The mission briefing said this planet was full of psychics.
Bardock heaved a sigh. "Shit, the Kannasa mission."
TORRA: Wait a second. Doesn't that mean they can see the future? Don't you think they should have seen us coming?
"That's... actually a very good point," Tien observed.
BARDOCK: Just because they're psychic doesn't mean they're smart.
TORRA: But, aren't psychics supposed to have unbelievable mental--
(a surviving Kanassan warrior emerges from the rubble)
KANASSAN: I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUURE!
"Not a completely accurate representation but close enough. A bunch of total fucking morons." Bardock said.
SHUGESH: Hey, look! One survived.
"No shit." He replied.
KANASSAN: Oh no, they can see me! I have to stop you from destroying my race... in the futuuuure!
YOU ARE READING
DBS Reacts to DBZA
AdventureAfter the tournament of power, a black robed being arrives at the stadium. Declaring the timeline corrupted, he resolves that watching the true course of events will heal it.
