(cut to Bardock confronting Zarbon, Dodoria, and Freeza in space outside planet Vegeta)
NARRATOR: A familiar scene plays before you. A lone renegade stands at the precipice of global annihilation. The grim punctuation to his warrior race.
"We've already seen this." Videl pointed out. "Alright, I'll skip it forward." Tenjo relented.
FREEZA: You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it. (begins charging a Supernova from his finger)
BARDOCK: You don't... You have no goddamned idea.
ZARBON: Mmm, and even if you told every single Saiyan, none of them would have even believed you.
BARDOCK: Just...please stop talking.
DODORIA: And you never even got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
BARDOCK: (thinking) I have one of those? *gasps* Oh, God, I have two of those!
FREEZA: Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up. (Bardock charges up an energy blast)
BARDOCK: GO TO HELL! (throws the energy blast at Freeza)
FREEZA: See, that was my first guess. (fires the Supernova, which absorbs Bardock's blast)
BARDOCK: (thinking as multiple soldiers scream in terror) Ah, crapbaskets. (gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova)
NARRATOR: And so, with a macabre flash of blinding light, the howling laughter of a blood-parched tyrant echoing through his mind, so ends the tragic fate of Bardock. (Freeza's Supernova collides with Planet Vegeta, causing it to explode into nothingness) ...Or so you'd think if you didn't know a thing about godly shenanigans! Hit it!
"'Godly shenanigans'?" Bardock asked. "My master Chronoa sent you back in time to fulfil your destiny." Tenjo clarified.
("DragonBall Z Abridged: Episode of Bardock" logo appears on the screen as "Time Warp (Rocky Horror Picture Show)" by Richard O'Brien plays in the background)
BARDOCK: Uah! (wakes up and finds himself on a bed) (thinking) Am I in a bed? Does hell have beds? You'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders. Or spiky spiders. ...Spikers.
The children giggled at Bardock's thought process. Seriously, 'spikers'?
(gets up and looks outside a window) Wait, this looks like Planet Vegeta. Only...even shittier. This is and simultaneously isn't weird, considering the last time I saw it, it was blowing up.
"Both weird and not weird?" Vegeta repeated. "With your arsehole father on the throne, the planet went to hell slowly every day." Bardock elaborated.
DR. DRAY: Hi-ho!
BARDOCK: (turns his head around) Uggh!
DR. DRAY: We found you unconscious and near-death in a valley not too far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.U.G...
The adults gagged at the name,
BARDOCK: Ugh!
DR. DRAY: Super Polymorphic Unleashing Gel. We brought you to our town on our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray. And this is my child Twopock. Say hi-ho, Twopock.
YOU ARE READING
DBS Reacts to DBZA
AdventureAfter the tournament of power, a black robed being arrives at the stadium. Declaring the timeline corrupted, he resolves that watching the true course of events will heal it.
