BROKEN

part three

Breaking contact from his yellowish Hazel eyes
I try to focus on my book but I get nervous when he pulls a seat behind me burning holes with his eyes into my back
I squirm uncomfortably in my seat trying to tug the skirt down. After 40 minutes of an uncomfortable lesson the final bell rings and I sigh in content as the teacher bids a good day I grab my phone and text my mom that I was done for the day and walk towards the locker, I did a mini celebratory dance when I got there without tripping on my two feet
I neatly arrange my things in my locker before leaving the hall way
I sit uncomfortably outside the school stairs as the dumb skirt keeps riding up
" I so hate skirts" I said, I look up just intime to see my mother's car pulling up, I grab my backpack and smile jogging to my mother's car
" Hi mom " I say tossing my backpack in the backseat
"Hey baby"
" how was school"  my eyes flick to the building before answering " it was umm okay"
She nods and begins backing out , I  looked at the other side of the parking lot and saw the Burnette form literature class hanging off the vikor guy from contemporary English with their other friends, he looked bored of whatever the Burnette was yapping about as if he knew I was staring at him, his eyes found mine, I gasped in shock and snapped my head to my mother I sighed in relief  when I saw the familiar gates we passed this morning
My mother then said " that bad huh" I wanted to say you have no idea but instead shook my head No she gave me a pointed look before continuing
" Mrs leotta said hi " a warm smile tugged my lips when I think about my therapist
" tell her I said hi too" my mother nods " Are you sure you're fine I mean she's not charging us for your sessions you could go"
"I'm m fine mom " I gave her a fake smile that I had seem to perfected
I see our cream coloured house from the small bridge and a feeling of dread comes when I see it knowing my father would be home
My mother senses this and tells me he left for Newwark on a trip I just nod and smile.
My mom drops me off and heads back to work
I stomp upstairs after grabbing chips and chocolate bars from the fridge strip off my uniform and change into a large shirt and shorts i plopped on my bed and started to do my homework cause I had to catch up on
After two hours of struggling to analyse school boy  I sigh in relief as I completed my essay
I walk downstairs to the kitchen and began to make spaghetti and tomato sauce I was stirring the sauce when my mom walked in
" something smells good" she says
She looks so good and care free when dad isn't home
" I know" mom chuckles before walking up to her room and changing out of her work clothes
I dish out the food serving both of us, we eat in the living room
And began eating while watching friends
My mom clutches her stomach while laughing at something chandler said and I just smile softly after 4 episodes I retire to my room
I walk in my room and look at my small family portrait hanging off the wall
A picture of my mom, dad me and my goofy late elder twin brother and sister, I couldn't help but shed a few tears seeing what my family was before I ruined it
I sighed and prayed to God to watch over me  as I fall asleep

I jolt awake,another nightmare ,sighing as I climb out of bed and walking to the bathroom I stare at my self
Eyes like that of wool
Hair silvery white
I sigh and splash water on my face, tired of living, I stretch my hands and grab a bottle of trazodone desyrel and pop two in mouth letting it dissolve In my mouth with out water unfazed by the bitter taste it left in my mouth
I checked the time on my phone 3:45am
"Just great" I mumble as I lay down on the bed, it takes a couple minutes for the drug to kick in and as it does I fall into the warm yet cold arms of darkness.