BROKEN

part five

We left the school gates and I sighed in relief, Malvolio seemed to have noticed
" What's wrong Lotus " I fiddled with my thumb before answering " Nothing " he nods and humms along with the song playing in the radio
I looked at Malvolio before asking a question that has burning at the back of my throat for hours " ummm mal .. who is Ivan" I looked down and suddenly found my shoes interesting
He looks at me for a while before answering " well Ivan is an enigma"
I nod my head and look forward luckily the atmosphere isn't uncomfortable, it's comfortable like the way Malvolio made me feel
We pull up in front of my house I grab my backpack I looked at Malvolio and said " thanks Mal " I gave a genuine smile
Malvolio pulls me into a bone crushing hug and bids me bye

I watch as he zooms off, I hesitantly turn and walk into my empty home
I pull my phone and text my mom that I'm home, she replies almost immediately with two thumbs up 👍
I walk upstairs and take a well deserved shower change into a large spongebob hoodie and matching shorts before starting my homework
After writing a summary essay on the battle of great gatsby
My phone buzzes I pick it up and see a text from an unknown number
Unknown? Lllllllllooooooooottttttttttuuuuuuuusssssssss
Me - uhm who are you??
My phone chimes almost immediately
Unknown? It's the ghost of Christmas past 😃
Unknown? It's Malvolio dumbo
I shake my head laughing
Me- mmmmmaaaalllvvvoolliioo😃 😘
Mal 😍 💖 - I'm touched you love me baby girl, watchu doing
Me - doing homework 🙃
Malvolio- nerd 🤓 alert ⚠️ 📢
Me- bully 😤 😔 🤧
We keep texting for about an hour just bickering like dummies
Until I heard my mother's car I walk downstairs and watch my mother plop down on the couch tiredly
' mom"
She looks up " my baby girl"
"How are you, How was school Lotus "
"Fine and how was work ?"
"TIRING" I laugh at her before telling her to wash up.
I ordered pizza before she was done, I hear her drag her feet down but beams when she sees the pizza, she pounces on it like a panther
We walk to the living watching TV and I tell her about Malvolio, she seemed more excited that I made a friend
I was pretty excited my self, we said our good byes and walked to our rooms
I texted Malvolio goodnight 😴 before going to sleep

I sighed when I got under the cover I didn't want to take a pill to sleep
I closed my eyes and tossed and turned around for hours
I groaned when I looked at the clock beside me 2:00am
I huffed and got up and went to the bathroom found the bottle of my sleeping pill and crushed them in my mouth
I cringed when I tasted the bitterness, I crouched down to return the bottle
When I saw my old blade and rope
I closed my eyes and the cupboard took a deep breath before walking back to bed
Memories of when I tie my hand tightly to create a bruise or just to stop my blood from flowing
Days where I had said hello to the grim reaper
Days where the only satisfaction I had was cutting my self

I sat up grabbing my poetry book and began writing

" I felt death
I longed for it
I wanted it
I wanted to pay my dues
All I desired was to sacrifice my self
All I wanted was to drown
All i needed was an escape
And death couldn't grant me that wish before I was tossed back to a tortured existence "

tsiehta.
I set the book down as the pills had start to kick in
I layed down before falling into a dreamless sleep

The warm glow of the sun woke me up, I looked to my bedside clock and saw that I woke up late
I cussed and groaned when I fell on the floor when I had tried to untangle my self from the sheets
I washed and clothed my self and remembered to grab my gym clothes for today
I power walked downstairs before I greeted my mom and we both rushed to the car
I blasted fire by bts while mom drove us, the song suited this moment because we were both in a hurry
I pulled my silvery white hair in a messy bun , grabbed my bag and bade my mom goodbye

I was walking into the school when I heard a loud horn
I was appaled when I saw malvolio parking his Mclaren
I just stood and watched how girls fawned over him
I was jolted back to life when I heard his voice " ACKERMAN, LOTUS ACKERMAN why the hell didn't you reply my messages
I shook my head and watched him jog over, I explained that I hadn't checked my phone. He pouted before pulling me into a hug and kissing my temples
My cheekes flamed in embarrassment when I saw everyone looking at us
I turned just in time to see Ivan climb out of his koenigsegg jesko glaring at me and Malvolio
Mal broke the hug and pulled me into the school
I turned and saw Ivan clenching his fist before he was whisked away by Analise.

A/n
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