BROKEN

Forty Eight.

"What made you love art." I asked Ivan.
"My mother did, I grew up in a house filled with her paintings, at that time I felt the only way i could connect with her or ease the guilt I felt when people said I killed her was painting." He sucked In the cold night air "I fell in love with the strokes I could make on the canvas, the smell of the paint was somehow comforting, I loved the fact that I could create something even though at that time it was mostly fingerpainting i did. It just made me feel close to her somehow."
"Are you always this deep." I asked trying to Distract myself from his burning stare on my face.
"Coming from the philosopher, I feel honoured."
"Well you should." I proudly flicked a piece of my hair back.
"And they say I'm proud."
"I thought you said you weren't proud, you're just self aware." I heard his chuckle and watched him push his hair back because the wind had ruffled it a bit.
"Do you miss your mother." I knew it was a dumb question to ask but I didn't want to fall back into silence although it was comfortable. Silence was still silence.

"I used too and sometimes I do but then I realise she would have wanted me to move her and atleast try to be happy even though. My birth cost her life."
"You aren't at fault Ivan. Stop blaming yourself.' I clasped his hands with mine trying to reassure him.
"Its hard to forget something that has been drilled into your head since you were little."
"Your father blamed you." He nodded
"In a way he did, he never outrightly blame but he never looked me in the eyes. My eyes were always trained down when I stood before him. He said I had eyes like hers, he couldn't look at me for long without fidgeting."
"That's terrible." He let our a tormented laugh.
"You should have seen him, the first day he saw me painting. He let out a string of colorful words that stunned me till now."
"What about your sister." A full blown smile graced his lips bringing out those cute little dimples. I poked one with my fingers and I felt him grin more

"What about her."
"Did she treat you the same."
"No she didn't, she played with me even though my father forbade her to, she snuck me cookies."
"Cookies"
"Yeah, I wasn't allowed junk food."
"Wow'
"You think that's Wow, I didn't have ice cream until I was sixteen."
"WHAT"
"I knew you were going to freak out'
"How come you were restricted from eating junk"
"Well my mom was a sweet tooth, and it was bad enough that I had her eyes and painted like her, he just didn't want any similarities between us"
"He sound like a wonderful man " my voice was laced with sarcasm
"He was a wonderful businessman, but a shitty father."
"What was your sisters name"
"Astrid. I loved her so much, apart from you and Claudia  she was the only person that made me feel like I was an actual person not a pawn like I had felt like my entire person."
"So I make you feel human.' I poked more at his dimple. He brought his face close to mine
"You fuel me with undiluted anger, perhaps that's why I like you so much" he tilted his head to the side cutely "you like me."
He leaned back, laying on the car instead of sitting on it.
"Yes. Why else would you i come back or be here, time is something I value and I won't be spending it with my girlfriend or someone I don't care about."
"Wait. When did we start dating."
"Since the day I cornered you in ceasers class" my mouth was agape, Ivan was the weirdest person to exist in the world.
"Hold up, two things, in an orthodox world both parties are supposed to be aware that they are in a relationship and also why did you tell me to stay away from Ceaser" Ivan had the alarmingly calm posture that made me want to smack him on the face and kiss him at the same time.
"Ceaser didn't have the best track record when it came to his female students, he picked his favourite female student and  made her sleep with him for a semester just for an easy A and also if you hadn't realised that we aren't in a perfect world so our relationship is not going to be orthodox. All you need to know is that you're my girlfriend."  My eyes were twitching at this point.
"Are you asking me or telling me I'm your girlfriend and don't you dare say anyhow I choose to see it or I'd smack you hard." I threatened him but he laughed
"You look like a bunny trying to get angry. Anyways I'm telling you you're my girlfriend."
"Aren't you supposed to ask like a normal person." I narrowed my eyes at the cocky human infront of me.
"Well I'm not normal" I huffed and kept quiet listening to his soft chuckle. He turned me to face him so we were laying down side by side.
"I suck at the whole speech thing, but I really know I like you, like really like you, even though you get on my nerves and make me want to pull my hair out strand by strand....."
"Hey, I'm not that annoying.".
"Yeah right, and how many times did I tell you not to interrupt me." He gave me a mocking smile and I raised a brown to challenge him.
"Where was I, hmmm. Even though you anger me, I still really care about you Lotus and I can't see my self without you in, trust me I tried, you turned me completely humane, I just couldn't stay away from and I know only you can complete and show me new experiences and give me a reason to live again. So Ackerman do you want to be my girlfriend?"
"Sooo, I complete you" he flicked me my head with his thumb.
"Not the point Ackerman."
"Yes I'll be your girlfriend and not because I like you that much, I just have a feeling that that's the only way I'm going to leave here alive." He laughed and repositioned us so I was straddling him.
"You're right, but I probably bug you for the rest of your life. I'm pretty persistent you know."
"Really."
"Yes" he said before smashing his soft lips on mine.

A/n
Who else loves B.i