BROKEN

part fourteen

"Lotus"
"Ivan" I gasped his name out before I blacked out.
The fatigue of crying, loosing blood, the stress, the betrayal had finally taken its toll on me.

I woke up in the morning, I stood up weakly from the floor, I had passed out on yesterday.
I needed to go to school today, I couldn't be with mom alone.
She hurt and betrayed me, she defiled dad's memory
How could she, all these years
What other thing has she hidden from me, I staggered into the bathroom, washed up and donned on my uniform.

I didn't want to be in the same car with mom, I couldn't walk to school and I didn't want to call ivan he had done so much for me last night.
So I was going to be selfish and call the only person I trusted.
He picked up on the first ring " Mal" I choked out
"Lotus, What's wrong ?, are you okay?"
"Can you come pi..ck me up " I stuttered out
" on my way"
"Tha..nk you"
I ended the call and sat on my bed waiting for Mal to arrive
I stood up when I saw he texted he was outside
I picked up my bag, and took one step at a time trying not to fall face flat.
I walked downstairs and my eyes met mom, I barely spared her a glance. She grabbed my hand
"Lotus, please let me explain "
I looked at her and asked her a burning question "did you cheat while you were with dad, don't l..iie to me please"
"Lotus you have to believing me, It was a mistake.."
My eyes widened , I knew my answer but I wanted to give her the benefit of doubt, I shook my head not wanting to hear anymore.
I shoved her hand of me and ran out of the door, I crashed right into Malvolio as he was leaning on his car.
He hugged me, I needed it, his scent didn't soothe me like Ivan but it calmed me down a bit.
He led in the car and zoomed off, we were one hour early for School but I didn't care. We drove in silence the only sound that could be heard was my labored breathing. He parked infront of school
"Lotus" I turned and looked at him " what did I do ?"
I shook my head nothing " you did nothing Mal, I'm the p..ro..blem as u..su.al"
" I know I should have told you about Aurelia but I didn't think it a problem, I know I hid it from you but I didn't think you were going to hate me this much."
I shook my head again "I'm sorry,"
'Why did you avoid me?" He questioned again I debated if I should tell him about Aurelia.

"Aurelia thr.ea...tene..d me to st..ay aw.ay from you , I swear I didn't mean it "
His eyes widened " I'm sorry Lotus " and I nodded
" I'm ha..ppy for you, two of you seem perf..ect tog..ether" I said
He scoffed " Lotus I really hate Aurelia, you have no Idea how much I hate her guts, I just tolerate her."
"Just six more months and I'm done with her,"

I nodded again, my phone buzzed again and I saw another one of mom's text
I ignored it
"Everything okay" Mal asked
"No "
" I'm hurting Mal, "
" what happened "
I had started crying " my d..ad is g.o..ne and mom ch.ea..ted on him "
He pulled me close, we were in the backseat of his Mercedes maybach, he let me, consoled me and made Me laughed

I missed him and I knew that, I felt lighter after talking to him
I missed my friend, I realised how much I had grown attached to him
" Mal wh.at am I go...ing to do about Aur.elia"
"We are just going to pretend when she's around okay."
"We don't have to pretend today cause she isn't coming today"

Malvolio's car^
I nodded I watched as many people arrived at school with their friends
Snobby rich kids, I pulled away from Mal when my phone was ringing
Ivan was calling, Malvolio was grinning at me.
I told him what Ivan did last night and he teased me about it
"Uhmm hello" my voice was barely audible
"Lotus" I could hear the relief in his voice.
"Where are you "
"School, I'm in sch..ool"
He mumbled an OK before ending the call. After 10 mins I saw Ivan's koenigsegg jesko parking beside us

Ivan's car ^
I saw him climb out of the car, Malvolio opened his side of the door poked his head out and called Ivan, I couldn't hear what they were talking about but in the end Malvolio walked away and Ivan opened the door and sat with me in the car
"H..ii" I said
" Hey, how are you"
"I'm bett..er thank you for last night..." He only nodded
He didn't talk much only took action, I really liked that about him but then again I liked everything about him

He brought out a brown paper bag and passed me a bagel and orange juice.
"I'm pretty sure you didn't eat last night. I nodded
I took slow bites out of the bagel, careful not to eat fast so I wouldn't vomit
I cringed when I remembered he saw me vomit blood last
I slowly dropped the bagel I lost my appetite
"I'm sorry ' I whispered, he pulled me closer
"I thought we agreed on you not apologising to me  anymore"
" b.b.but I was a bur.d..en last night, I made you clea..n up after me" he hugged me close to him and I calmed immediately
His phone buzzed and he brought it out
"Analise" my heart broke, I remembered he had a girlfriend
Analise was his girlfriend not me
I got oddly comfortable with someone else's boyfriend
I didn't regret but I felt guilty, I wouldn't want someone else to hug my boyfriend yet I was doing that to Analise
I felt dirty, I tried pulling away from him but he wouldn't let go.
He ended the call and looked back at me
" I have to go" I knew he couldn't stay with me forever but it felt so right with him, I found my place in his arms but I couldn't be clingy nor selfish
He was someone's else's boyfriend, I had to respect that.
"Okay " I kept my gaze low, I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want him to see the tears threatening to fall.
I had the tendency of dpd so I stayed away from people in order not to get attached.
I loosened my grip and scooted away from him
He said goodbye and left. I watched him walk to Analise and kissed her
They were happy, I couldn't ruin that but it didn't stop my heart from aching

I went through classes today with ease, though it hurt when I saw Ivan and Analise together, I made it through
Though her giggles and pda made me cringe. It just made me realise that we could not be together
Mal dropped me home " will you be fine Lotus " I smiled and nodded, I knew I wouldn't be fine ever but Mal had done enough for me.
I waved him a goodbye and watched his car Rev away
I took a deep breath and quietly opened the door
Mom's car was outside, I tiptoed my way inside
I needed an explanation, I walked quietly to the living and saw something I wished I never did
Mom was making out with a stranger in the living room

I gasped loudly and they moved from each other from the looks of their clothes, kissing was not all they had done
" how c..ould disrespect dad like this"
He had just been buried, I closed my eyes and a tear slid down my eyes
"Lotus" she called but i didn't care I just ran upstairs and locked the door to my room
I slid down my door
My throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe.
Black dots clouded my vision and I caught a glimpse of the grim reaper.