BROKEN

thrity two

Ivan's pov.

My heart was beating out of my chest, I don't even know how I drove to the hospital. I felt like such an idiot.
If I had known I would have picked up the phone
this wouldn't have happened if I had just put my pride aside.
The scent of blood clung onto me like a cologne, it was her blood that clung to me
If anything ever happens to her, I'll never forgive myself.
I was so idiotic to push her away like that, I wasn't my self around her. She was addictive
Her smile, her laughter , everything about her was mesmerising
She was alluring in every way, the way her eyes would light up when she's happy and it would darken when she was sad
Her beautiful silvery white hair that cascades down her back, I had wondered how soft those curls were. She was simple and Sophisticated
Everything about her was just simply ethereal.

I ran my fingers through my hair for the thousandth time, and my knee was bouncing while waiting outside the emergency room. My phone was buzzing and I picked it up
Analise was bothering about some stupid date that she had planned for us but I could care less about it,
Lotus was in the emergency room fighting for her life
I looked at the dried blood on my palm, I felt so helpless and only her had ever made me feel this way
My phone was buzzing continuously, knowing Analise she had probably reported me to thousands of people. Trying to gain sympathy, it's like all of a sudden I see Analise for whom she truly is

When it comes to lotus, everything just feels natural and electrifying between us but no matter how close we are, it seemed like the whole world is between us. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces when I saw her exposed and battered and also coated in her blood.
The cuts I saw on her body have ingrained themselves in my brain, her swollen cheeks , her battered body, her bleeding scalp, they all engraved their selves in my brain. I stood up from the chair and paced around the waiting room, I wanted to rip the throats of anyone who ever hurt her and I knew I was on that list.
I pushed her away because I was scared in and failed to admit it. Everything was jumbled up when it came to lotus. Every time I saw her I was so close to breaking up with Analise and bringing lotus into my life but I always remembered how awfully complicated our lives are.

I wasn't even sure of what I felt for her, all the times she had called today, I simply sat there with a glass of whisky watching the phone ring but when I heard that voice mail, I couldn't help myself from running to her. That's how she always made me feel, like a lost puppy.

I slid down the walls of the waiting room feeling dejected as I remembered her tears when she was at my apartment, I remembered how she pounded her fist, trying to push me away thinking I'd attack her, I'd give anything to see her smile, the feeling of dread was worse than the time I found her drowning in the lake, when I picked her up from the water, I didn't care about anyone at that moment except her and her cold wet body when I found her, I thought I felt terror when I saw her drowning but it was nothing like the feeling of dread when I saw the warm blood oozing out of her.
I always saw the Hurt In her eyes, I craved to allievate it, I wanted her to talk to me about her past, she'd been hurt a lot and all I wanted was to help her, I once thought my obsession with her was due to hero syndrome because in a way she saved me from myself but I wasn't.

I heard footsteps coming close to me, I raise my head to look at the nurse coming close to me
She touched my shoulders and I looked up "sir you need to wash the blood off your body, you are scaring others," I looked around and it dawned on me that I wasn't alone In the waiting room, people had seen me spiral out of control, I nodded at the nurse and left the hospital to get clean. I got flashes of walking into her house again and seeing how bruised she was. I couldn't keep her safe, I walked into my apartment without caring that Analise was standing there boring holes in by back
I threw the keys on the table "where have you been Ivan, why on earth do you have blood over you, How can you forget today's date" she whispered the last part in a sad tone, If I didn't know how truly despicable she was, I might have fallen for her trickery but I wasn't in the mood to call her out not argue
"Get out Analise, I don't have time for this "
"No, I demand you tell me" I took predatory steps to her, all the anger I had directed to her. I was about to roar fire but I held my tongue "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ANALISE BEFORE I DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE." I turned my back and walked to the bedroom, when I heard the door slam shut, I could breath again, my eyes went to the juliet roses I had placed beside my bed in a vase, I got lotus one too but it probably didn't mean much to her than it did me. I stripped off my bloody clothes and walked in The shower, I saw the red washing away with the water , unlike me who could wash the blood away, Lotus was going to deal with the scars both physically and emotionally, I dried my self up, changed into some comfortable Clothes before going back to the hospital. When I got there I saw her mother was there looking around like someone who is broken with out her daughters but I saw through her farce, I took a seat opposite her just to avoid confrontation. I don't know how long I sat there but when the doctor came out, I couldn't help but jump out of My seat

I looked at the grim look on his face "Doctor , is she alive " . My heart sunk with happiness when I saw him nod a yes.