The mirror showed me how truly broken I was, it showed me how unable I was to live happy
Terrible experiences turned my body into a painting of scars and insurmountable pain I had put my heart and soul on getting forgiveness but in the end I lost m...
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Ceaser's aesthetic
I made the mistake of looking into Ivan' s eyes I couldn't hold his angry glare anymore before dropping my eyes His eyes was intense just like every part of him.
" look at me " Ivan said, I tried looking at him to match his gaze but I couldn't I found the supply closet we were in very interesting " I said looking at me" I flinched at the tone he used and wearily my eyes found its way back to him. " Stay . Away .from. Ceaser" " Do you understand me" I couldn't say anything I felt I couldn't even speak
Words lotus say something " I.. I understand " good job weirdo you stuttered in front of the hottest boy you've ever met.
I nervously pushed my glasses back, he moved his hand from my wrist to my hair I missed the warmth his hand provided Ivan pulled out my scrunchie that held my hair in a messy bun, letting my white hair cascade down in waves. He put my scrunchie in his backpack and with that he left the supply closest I stood in that same position for god knows how long reminiscing what had just happened until I heard the warning bell signifying I was late to Ms Newman's class
Sprinting from the supply closest, I was five minutes late for romance literature I opened the door politely expecting Ms Newman to reprimand me but she didn't she smiled and pointed Me to my seat
I made contact with the person who made me late in the first place Ivan sitting at the back with Analise resting her on his shoulders while he ran his toned fingers in her hair.
Those same fingers that were wrapped around my wrist, I felt an unusual pang in my chest, i took my seat next to a smiling Malvolio While Ms Newman was teaching Mal and I were passing notes about the time he was kicked off the stage when he tried to sing in the school' fundraiser I laughed lightly and he leaned back and he whispered into my that headmistress told him that he sounded like a screeching tyre
I had to cover my mouth with my hand I didn't trust my self not to laugh out It was very funny he said that she told him that a donkey braying would be a better musician than Mal I bottled in laughter, I waited till class was over and Ms Newman was out of class before I erupted I was pretty sure the students in the class thought I was crazy but I didn't care at the moment " I'm glad that you think my misery is funny lotus" Malvolio said "I'm sorry Mal ... I'm really sorry" I was wheezing due to laughing so hard " whatever " Mal pouted Now I felt bad " I'm sorry Mal I didn't mean that, I am so so so sorry " He smiled and I realised we were one of the few people in class I turned back and saw Ivan and Analise making out I looked away quickly when I saw them, I grabbed my bag and walked out with Mal I hated seeing them together, I've never had a boyfriend and I didn't know why Maybe it was because of the way I looked or the fact that I wasn't skinny like her I had wide hips, scars, chubby cheeks, stretch marks, I am imperfect and i knew that to my very core
Mal offered to take me home again, after waving him good bye when he dropped me off I walked into my house , the only sound that could be heard was the sound of my heavy breathing, grabbing what ever I need from the pantry, I walked over to my room and plopped on my bed sighing heavily at the emotional turmoil of being a teenager Taking of my clothes, I entered my Bathroom to take a quick shower before I buried my head in homework. I've always hated looking at the mirror, it was a reflective piece of cruelty that sucked all hope of perfection out of you, showing your faults, flaws and insecurities
