BROKEN

chapter eight

I still couldn't get why he was with my scrunchie
I thought he was going to throw it away or something

Walking into the the schools building with malvolio by my side was just unnerving, I got stares more than usual
I couldn't take it anymore so I asked Malvolio " uhm Mal "
" yeah lotus "
" why are people staring "
" oh it's probably because...." Malvolio trailed off when he saw a female silhouette leaning on my locker
He looked at me and " lotus do you trust me "
Trust
I despised that word always made me feel like I wasn't in control of my descion
But did I trust anyone, no didn't, not even mom and not even you Malvolio but I couldn't say that to him so i simply nodded
He didn't need to know that I didn't trust him.

We walked over to the female "Aurelia what do you want."
The girl I now know as aurelia clicked her tongue before replying " what ever do you mean baby ."
My eyes widened at the nickname, I looked at Malvolio and saw he was clenching his fist
" I'll ask again What. Do .You .Want"
" I dare you to answer my question with another question "  I shifted a bit from Mal  he looked livid
Like he was going to rip blonde into pieces
She visibly gulped before regaining her posture, she flashed her pearly white teeth grinning

Not that I'm exaggerating but I could see Malvolio reflection on her teeth
Lotus focus, stop seeing things
" Mal, I'm here because I missed my betrothed."
My eyes widened I never knew Mal was betrothed.
OMG I know an engaged teenager, crosses achievement off bucket list
Focus lotus focus
She shifted her black obsidian eyes to me, she scanned me head to toe, before talking
"Who's the freak " before I knew it my hands started shaking
I had social anxiety coupled with Asthma its a deadly combination

I needed my inhaler, my throat had started to close up
I was breathing heavily ' please ...move " I gasped when I tried talking
I was heaving and my inhaler was in my locker
" lotus " Mal called
" What's wrong Lotus "
" my....in .haler . Loc...k.k.ker" i think he understood what I meant he pushed Aurelia off my locker and grabbed my inhaler
I took a huge puff of albuterol I could feel my chest ache relaxing.

I saw Mal and others looking at me, I couldn't take I grabbed my bag and sprinted down the hall
I went to music class and locked my self In
I pinched my self for my idiocy of letting people see my vulnerability

I crouched down and balled my eyes out
I just cried until I heard the bell, I left the classroom, and walked to the bathroom rinsed my eyes and was about to leave when the door opened and Aurelia walked in
" oh goodie just whom I was looking for" she chirped
I just stood there awkwardly praying to the Lord above to receive my soul with open arms
" I'm just going to say this once sweetie, stay away from Malvolio dear unless you want people to know about your days in clearminds mental institution" my eyes immediately watered
" this school is filled with vultures ready to feed on your carcass
So sweetie do me a favor and listen to me, I really do hate sharing okay sweetie. So are we clear on operation stay away from Malvolio." I couldn't speak so I just nodded
" Have a nice day Ackerman " and with that she walked away
My legs gave out and I crumbled on the floor and cried
I heard the warning bell for art class, once again i stood up wiped my face and walked lifelessly to class

Life loves mocking me, Ivan, Analise, Aurelia and Malvolio were already sitted when I walked in
Mal waved me over but I couldn't go to him even if I wanted to
So I walked to the back passing Mal and the other and sat behind a canvas

The art teacher said we should paint how we felt
I painted the picture of a dying sunflower

I don't own any of the pictures- ownership Pinterest- a/n

That's how I truly felt a dying flower, happiness left, joy called me a cheater and left
I've always fallen asleep with my regrets and pain
But today they made their selves known in my day life
I truly hated life
I wanted to leave but the grim reaper said no
I have lost the ability to be happy.

I looked up and my eyes connected with Mal
He smiled but I couldn't, the first good thing that life gave me, was snatched away
I looked away focusing on my canvas
Consumed with the thought of death I repainted

I managed to avoid Mal for the rest of the day.
I put my homework in my bag and grabbed my knit sweater

I was walking out of the school building when I saw Mal, Ivan ,Aurelia and Analise with their other friends laughing
I realised that I did intrude their group, I walked away knowing that Aurelia was right

I had barely taken 12 steps when Mal called me
" lotus "
I Ignored him and continued walking, he came up to me and spun me
" lotus, I'm sorry okay, I didn't..." I cut him off
" have a nice life Mal " he looked at him shocked and I turned around to continue walking, he grabbed my hand and said " at least let me drive you, it's about to rain "

He was kind to me but knowing my self I'd bring tragedy to him and so I pushed his hands off me and ran
And true to his word the heavens opened and the sweet sound of thunder and lightning accompanied with the ballad of tears and rain, defined me at that moment.