BROKEN

part thirteen

She never loved him, she didn't care about him,
She defiled our home, the home they built together.
Dad was many things but he wasn't a cheater, and all this time I thought mom was a Saint
He had just been buried and she brought another home, was I going to have a step father
Who was he ?
What did he do ,
When did this start ?
Did dad know ?
Did she ever love my father?
Would she leave me?
Was I a burden? I had so many thoughts, so many question that fuelled more fire to my headache, I dropped my head in my palms, i ached everywhere.

Ivan parked in front of a studio apartment and opened the door for me to step out
I crashed down at the first step I took, my body felt heavy
I felt as though I was carrying a lot on my shoulders
I could barely even move from my position on the ground
Ivan picked me up and I clung to him like a koala , I held unto him as though my life depended on him.
His scent soothed me, I pressed tightly as though he was my life line

He walked into the apartment with me still hanging of him. He gently set me down on the sofa
I just sat there, doing nothing, just blankly Staring at the wall.
I smelt eggs and I knew Ivan was cooking, I wanted to help but I wasn't sure I was strong enough, I just sat there starring at nothing.
I heard footsteps and Ivan put a tray of toast bread and eggs in front of me and orange juice
I looked at him before dropping my eyes and looking at the food
I wanted to eat but I couldn't
I was not sure if my body could digest food without it coming back up. So I tried pushing the tray away, it made me sick how incompetent I was

He pulled the tray to me and told me to eat, with shaky hands I brought the fork to my mouth
And as usual it tasted Bland, everything I tasted felt tasteless
My taste buds had finally gone numb, i tried bringing the glass of orange juice to my lips but my hands were shaking and spilled on the couch.
I gasped " I'm s..o..rry " I was crying again and I didn't know why
He didn't say anything he just simply cleaned it up.
I bent my head down and saw a drop of blood on my wrist
My nose was bleeding, Ivan raised my head up with his hands
His eyes widened at the sight of my nose trickling blood
He calmly picked me up, took me to the bathroom
He set me down on the marbled sink and brought wet wipes to clean my nose.
The smell of the wipes made my insides churn and with the last energy I had I pushed Ivan's hand, hopped off the sink and ran to the toilet
I puked out blood once again, I was stressed and my entire nervous system knew that.
I was a heaving mess when I finished, I looked at Ivan who was holding up my hair and rubbing my back as I vomited.

My eyes were droopy because of exhaustion. Ivan helped me up and I rinsed my mouth with mouth wash and water before picking me up once more and taking me to the sofa
My uniform had blood stains on them, he sat beside me and opened his arms, I shakily scooted over to him and hugged his torso
I think I found my place in life
" Thank you Ivan "
" I'm so..rr..y for being a burden" I didn't wait to hear what he had to say before falling asleep in his arms.

I woke up to the sound of buzzing, I rubbed the sleep out of eyes and stood up as fast as I could but I got a headrush, I had to lay back down
"You're awake " I was still laying on Ivan chest. I nodded in response.
I looked at the position we were in and realised it have been inconvenient for him
"I'm so so so..rr..y...." He cut me off
" why are you always apologising "
I said nothing, just simply stared at the the ground
I jumped at the sound of my ringtone and saw mom calling
I picked it up " where have you been young lady?, I've been looking all over for you! I have left several texts, where in God's name are you?
" I'm sorry mom , I.. ll be h..ome soon" and with that I ended the call

I stood up from Ivan body, grabbed my bag and phone " I sho..uld get g.going, thank you and sorry for everything."
He pulled me into a hug and whispered " You're welcome"
He pulled my bag off my shoulders and drove me home. He parked infront of my house
" I know I've said this earl..ier but thank you and sorry for everything. "
" lotus " Ivan called, I waited for him to continue
" if you ever need anything and I mean anything or someone to talk to. Heck If anything ever happens, you call me do you understand, I put my number in your phone already.
Lotus promise me you will call me"
I nodded " I promise you " he kissed my hand and let out me out of the car, I walked to my front door, turned around and waved good bye before going in, I heard the rev of his car leaving.

" where have you been lotus. " mom said, I looked at her and answered " How long ?"
" what do you mean?"
" how long have to been having an affair? How long have you been cheating on dad
Was it before he died?" I looked at her face and I got my answer.
I sadly shook my head pushed past her and ran to my room

I shakily dialed his number, I knew I was going to get hurt
I knew I would regret this but for tonight I was going to be selfish
He picked on the third ring
"Lotus"
"Ivan"

A/n

Oooh suspense, its 12am here and I updated 😃 😀 😄