Loveless

Chapter 45

Jungkook's diary (part 2)

"Wow.. He looks ethereal.. Taehyung is so handsome.. Right now he is sleeping peacefully in his bed.. The lights are off but I can see his face glowing in the moonlight.. It's hard to look away from him..

The more I get to know him, the more I get curious about him.. He is not actually a cold hearted man.. In fact he is such a softie.. He protected me from Bogum.. why?? I have no idea..All I can say is that he is full of surprises..Wait, is he whining in his sleep.. Omg he's so cute.. should I make a video and make fun of him later?? 🤭 That'd be soo fun..

But I can't do it.. He'll know that I am watching him sleeping.. that'd seem creepy af"

"I haven't written anything for a few days.. A lot of unexpected things happened during this time..I'm here in Busan now..

A few days ago Taehyung's gang members tried to kill him.. and I lost my mind.. I had a fight with them.. I went back to my old self.. I wanted to protect him at any cost.. and I did.. I can't explain the feeling when I held his injured body.. I forgot about the everything, even you.. All I could think of was Taehyung..

So I have decided not to return Seoul.. I don't think I can't control myself if I stay there.. Taehyung is doing something to my heart.. And I don't want it.. I hate myself for being like this..I want to spend the rest my life thinking about you and only you Yugi..

How could I do this to you? You lost your life because of me and I am here having these ridiculous feelings for another guy.. I'm so sorry.."

"What's going on with me? Today you came in my dream and told me to move on with Taehyung.. And when I woke up, Taehyung was in front of me.. Was it all a coincidence?? Was it just my mind playing games?? Or, was it really you trying to tell me something?

I don't know.. I don't know what I should do..I don't know what I want anymore.. When I saw his face, I felt so happy, so content.. I kinda missed him.. But is it right to feel this way towards him??

Taehyung said he loves me..I didn't know what to feel.. I told him that I don't love him and I don't want to go back with him..But.. Do I really not want to go?? Why did I feel hurt when I said that?? I don't know.. "

"Oh God!! Taehyung is so stubborn.. I clearly told him to go back but this idiot is not moving an inch from here..He is still waiting outside my window.. Did he eat?? I don't think so.. Why is he so persistent???

Does he understand that he is making me weak?? How would I keep my promise to you if he keeps doing it??

I just checked on him again.. Seems like he is sleeping out in this cold.. I feel bad..Should I go to him?? What if something bad happens to him?? No!! I can't let that happen.."

"I can't deny it anymore.. I never thought I'd say this but I have fallen for him.. This feels so wrong yet so right..I don't know how long I can keep acting like I don't care about him.. He keeps pulling me towards him like a strong magnet..

And you Yugi!! Why do you keep coming in my dreams telling me to go to Taehyung?? Is it really you?? Or is it my brain making things up to justify my disloyalty towards you..

I'm so bad.. Ain't I??Do You hate me for being like this??"

"Yugi, I'll visit you with Taehyung today and officially introduce you two..Finally I decided to say 'yes' to Taehyung.. And from now on I'll believe that you gave me permission to go to him..

I know I'm being selfish but he really makes me happy. He makes me want to go on.. He makes me want to experience love again..My world seems colorful again.. I love him a lot Yugi.. I really do..

Will you forgive me for my selfishness??"

"I did it.. Now Taehyung is mine.. and umm.. sorry for making out in front of you.. I don't know what came into me..Ughhh.. 🐰..

And also.. we did 👉👈🙈🙈 .. Ahem.. anyways.. so where was I?? Yeah.. He looked so happy.. I can't explain the look in his eyes.. His soft gaze, gentle smile, and how he kisses me so gently yet hungrily..His body was so damn sexy..And his.. Oh my God it was heavenly.. And I'm so whipped for him..wtf am I writing?? forget I said that.. askxysitsjgh.."

Jungkook immediately closed the diary..His face and ears were burning red.. he felt like he was invading someone's privacy by reading his secret diary. It was hard for him to believe that he wrote all this..

"Taehyung!!"

"What kind of spell did you cast on me?? But if all of this is true, then.."

Jungkook got flashbacks from a few hours ago when he said those hurtful words to Taehyung..

"Was I wrong? My life now is a mess..But it was not his fault.. Then again.. what can I do in this situation? I don't remember anything about me.. How can I accept him as my boyfriend all of a sudden?? He is a total stranger to me.. And I don't feel any love for him.. And I will never.. So it's better for him to give up on this relationship and move on..

Right??

Right.."

Jungkook took the diary and walked towards the dustbin to throw it away..

"I shouldn't read those craps anymore" he thought to himself..

But instead of throwing it away he kept staring at the cover.. something was stopping him from throwing the diary.. But he didn't understand what that something was..