Falling for Death

Strangers

Harper

It's been a few weeks since we've talked. He stayed out of my way, I stayed out of his. We went our own ways.

I felt slightly better about everything. I was more at ease now that I got all that off of my chest. Though, the emptiness never left. A part of me was missing and I knew exactly where it was.

It lay in his grasp and I was never going to see it again.

He was a stranger to me and I was a stranger to him. We were completely different people, once again but this time it was different, we've made more memories together.

And this time, I remembered.

However, there was no going back. Life goes on. I'll be off to college soon.

We'll be living our own lives. We'll have the future we've always wanted only we wouldn't live it together.

Fate has done it yet again.

I have to keep telling myself, it's for the best. This is what is better for us, for the time being.

Maybe in a few years we won't be strangers anymore. Maybe. It was hard to not let that hope fill my chest.

I went up to my room and got ready for bed as it was getting late.

I laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling as empty as ever.

It was the worst feeling.

I felt so disconnected with life, with everything but at the same time, I felt free.

He had set me free that night and I him.

Now we could fully be who we were meant to be and hopefully we'd find our way back to each other again. Someday, perhaps we could be an 'us'.

It's not that I didn't want to fight for us, god knows how much I did.

It was just that for once in my life, I was choosing what was better for myself.

We weren't healthy together. We were both trapped in an ocean of tough love and it was slowly killing us. Whether we knew it or not.

I was thankful he set me free.

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't the holding me back, it was me. I was holding myself back from the fears of the unknown that the future brought in.

He told me he'd hold my hand along the away but that's not possible. I can't rely on him in that way. I depended on him too much.

I need to face it myself and learn to be my own person. Independent and all.

Only then, I could let myself give in and run back to him without the fear of him leaving.

Because I don't want to be scared that one day he might leave, I just want to live in the moment—something I thought I learnt how to do but I was wrong. I never learnt how and I let love and fear blind me.

But if I learned to truly love myself, that fear can't get to me anymore. It won't be able to bring me down.

The way I felt when he told me he didn't love me was enough for reality to slap me across the face.

I was so torn and distraught. I felt like I wanted to die. And that wasn't healthy for myself at all.

And though, it is definitely okay to be heartfelt, the world would try to make me heartless. I can't let that happen.

I couldn't let bittersweet destiny destroy me.

That's why I let him go.

I grabbed my phone and plugged in my earphones and let the music ease my mind. With that, I shut my eyes and fell asleep.