"maybe in another world, another life, we were meant for a happy ending, but not here, not this time"
in which nishimura ayame is struggling with her mental health and home life and yang jungwon tries to help her but nothing could ever go right for...
jungwon and ayame both sat in the park, sitting on the bench.
ayame had finally decided to just let everything out to jungwon. she finally was allowing herself to trust someone and tell her problems too and just her life story.
"im sorry im about to pour all my problems on you" ayame apologized quickly and jungwon shook his head
"don't worry about it. i won't judge anything you tell me. just rant it all out to me" jungwon comforted her and she nodded, fidgeting with her fingers because her anxiety was getting the best of her
jungwon reached out for her hand, holding it. this startled her and she bit her lip, her heart racing from this and nervousness
"uhm so..my life has never been easy i guess you could say. we had lived somewhere else but then my father had gotten a new job near here so we ended up moving my first year of high school and uhm..it wasn't the best. everyone already knew each other and had their own groups of friends so it was hard for me to make friends and i never really did. i mean..i talked to people but i never had someone to trust and talk to so i was always alone"
"shortly after, my mother passed away and now it was just my father, riki, and i but my father changed. he turned to drugs, alcohol, and just spent money on useless stuff. then he turned to..abuse on me and riki to get his anger out drunk or not.." she chuckled bitterly, recalling her own life problems, "after she passed and the abuse led my depression to worsening but it wasn't too bad i guess but uhm my..bulimia..made it even worst and i started struggling with insomnia and anxiety"
"i actually tried..uhm..killing myself" jungwon looked at her in worry, "it's been over a year since it and luckily, i survived.."
not luckily
"d-do you self harm?" he then asked
yes.
"a-ah no..i was just going through a lot during that time and i just felt like i couldn't do it anymore so i attempted but i think i'm a little better now..?" she said it like it was more of a question.
ayame vowed to herself that no one was ever going to know about her self-harm because she thought it was something that no one needed to know about except riki and that was the only person that should know
"i'm glad you're still alive ayame" he responded, "i'm glad you're finding something in life to live for. i can't imagine the pain you're going through"
ayame couldn't tell the sweet boy in front of her, the amount of times she has tried to kill herself in the time they knew each other and the fact she still self-harms.
she smiled softly at the boy, letting out a few tears, "it hurts jungwon.."
jungwon pulled the girl into a hug, hugging her tightly, "you'll get through it ayame. you have riki and me now..you'll be safe"
ayame smiled lightly, hugging the boy back, "thank you"
but inside, she was breaking
｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡
ayame entered her room only to see riki at her desk fast asleep while he was doing his homework. ayame smiled at this before grabbing a blanket from her bed and walking over to him, placing it on him.
she stood beside him, moving his hair out of his face, "hey riki.."
the boy stirred in his sleep before blinking his eyes and seeing the girl. she grinned and bent down, "im home"
"that's good" riki grinned, still half-asleep
"riki" she began, "i finally told someone my problems"
he raised an eyebrow, keeping his head on the table, "what do you mean? who did you tell?"
"i told jungwon. i told him about our father, our mother..my depression and from there"
riki looked at her surprised because she had never trusted someone so much to even tell a single soul about it but she told jungwon
"you really like him don't you?" riki responded
ayame chuckled lightly, "i do like him but i also trust him as a friend that i want to keep since i know now that i can truly tell him my problems"
"will you ever tell him how you feel?" riki then asked her
"maybe. maybe i will just tell him to get it over with and get rejected so i can move on and just be friends with him" ayame sighed holding onto riki's hand, "but that's okay if he rejects me. as long as i can stay friends with him, then i'll be content"
"i hope you stay happy like this ayame" riki smiled, "it's not often i get to see you like this"
"i hope i stay like this also riki"
but life never turns out the way ayame wants it too
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