Chapter 4

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Walking towards the stage, I slip past some construction equipment as I spot a lot of trailers for different bands and groups. I dig my hands in my pockets as I slowly walk towards them, though I don't get far as security tries to stop me.

"Excuse me!" he shouts as he jogs to me, then speaking much softer, "You can't be back here unless you have a performer pass-"

"He's with me," I hear a familiar voice appears, she then smiles at me quickly before stating, "This is my brother."

"I still can't-"

"Yes, I know. He was just coming to find me, we will leave now," she steps past him, rolling her eyes as he was behind her, tucking her arm under mine as she pulls me back from where I came, "You smell like smoke."

"Morning," I chuckle.

"Hey," she then stops a little while after, leaning against one of the barriers, "Glad to see you can still keep some of your promises."

"Did my very best," then digging my hands in my pockets, "So you plan on making me walk alone the entire day without anyone to hold my hand? It's scary thinking that someone might recognize me."

She purses her lips, "They aren't going burn you like a witch, (Y/N)."

Twisting my mouth to the side, "I mean... you can't burn a witch twice. After then you just hope a wooden stake will do the job."

"Still a smartass," she then throws her arms around mine, "Thanks for coming, was worried you would never get out of that room."

"Thanks for forcing me out," I state, then worming my arms out from under her's I return the hug, "So? How is the crew?"

She gives me a confused look, "I almost thought you wouldn't care about them."

"I don't care about two of them," I state, "Alex is still fine."

She nods, "They are all doing their best. The band is still holding together, almost better considering Jonah and Greg aren't fighting with the leader anymore."

"Because he got kicked out-"

"For your own good," she sighs, "I talked to them and they are willing to give you a shot and make your debut on the stage. To finally come back with us but that is only if Jonah agrees with it and you listen to him."

"Fuck that."

"(Y/N)-"

"Don't you remember what happened? I don't believe for a second that he would let me in."

"The vote was three against one."

"Makes it so much better," I arch my brow at her, "Do I have to remind you what happened?"

"He tried to kick your ass but you were so buzzed that you had so much pain tolerance and adrenaline to put him on his ass - yeah I remember. You were one hit to the head away from either being knocked out or getting a fucking heart attack! If it weren't for me-"

"You'd have to attend two graves."

She stops instantly, then steps forward as she rests her head on my chest, "Give it a chance... for me? It was your band, at least try to fight for it. She..." she falls quiet.

I chuckle, moving past her comment, "Here you are the one getting worked up for my sake, all over again."

"You just don't care anymore, if I don't complain and cry for your sake, who will?" then looked up at me with an annoyed expression, "You were always like that."

"I will, Lil."

There is one argument I hate, people tend to forget what kind of weight that holds. This isn't what she would have wanted... yeah... I have spent most of my life dedicated to her so don't you fucking dare tell me what she would have wanted. You have no right to hold her name above my head like that.

But here I am, doing the exact opposite. I know she would have hated to see me the way I was, hated to see what I did to myself. But if it was just her... god if it was only her that I lost that day it maybe would have been bearable...

It was everything else that came after that killed me. But even so-

- I will carry on.

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