The Woman at The End of The World. (Daryl Dixon)

ten.

I don't know how much time has passed when someone places their hands on my shoulders.

"Vanessa, you need to let go of his hand. We– we have to move him." A gruff southern accent speaks gently into my ear from the left side.

My eyes haven't moved from Dale. At some point, I went from looking his eyes, to the limp hand still held in mine.

"I love you, Dale... thank you for... for being the first person to make me feel welcome." I whisper to his body, "for not looking me as a freak. You saw my heart... my soul first, instead of my crazy outer shell." I feel the tears start to fall, "I'm so sorry I disappointed you." I don't bother biting back the sob, just letting out all the anguish and fear I've been holding back. "I don't know if I would've stayed that first few days if it wasn't for you. I wasn't a freak. I was another human. God, I was so fucking scared those first few days, and you saw it. I still am. You saw through every bullshit line I fed you, but you were always there. You. Saw. Me.  I'll never fucking forget you." I lay my head on his hand, feeling a panic attack coming on. I don't bother keeping my mask in place. I whisper, "I'm alone again."

"Vanessa..." another voice spoke, different from the first, coming from the right.

I feel strong arms pull me away from Dale, "no!" I start kicking and screaming at whoever grabs me. "Put me down!"

"Vanessa, stop." The second voices speaks again, stopping me cold.

I let out another sob. Rick turns me around, bringing me into his arms. I don't fight. "you're okay, you're gonna be okay." I feel his strong hands running through my hair.

"I'm alone, again." I gasp between sobs.

"No, no you ain't." I hear Daryl say from behind me. "I'm right here." He grumbles.

Once I'm able to keep my breathing even, Rick lets me go. I look at them, then down at myself noticing for the first that I'm covered in Dale's blood. I could feel the tears start to well up behind my eyes, again. "I'm.. I'm going to bed." I throw my plaid shirt on the ground. It's caked in his blood, and don't want to take it back with me. I take one last look at Dale, willing myself to wait to break down until I'm alone.

Shane tries to grab my attention in passing. I turn around, shoving his hands away of me, "Shane, save it. Please... leave me alone. I want to be left in peace."

I didn't go to bed, instead I curl up, just letting the tears fall. I replayed our last conversation over and over in my head. Why couldn't I just agree with him? Instead, I disappointed him... Like I did with everyone else in my family. I had a few panic attacks, which I had hoped no one heard. Thanks to Owen, I know how to keep my panic attacks and their volume to a minimum.

When the sun comes up, I hear Carol rustling around outside of my tent, "Honey, it's time for the funeral. Please, come out. We want you there."

I grunt in response, "give me a minute.. Please. I'll meet you there."

I pull on my jeans, black camisole, and black leather coat. I decide to braid my hair down my back. I don't bother with my knife. While rummaging through my bag, I find a necklace my dad gave me. It was simple silver heart locket, with a picture of us from when I was baby. I clasp it around my neck. I come across my clear Quartz crystal necklace, putting it around my neck, hanging below my silver locket. I pull on my boots, heading out to meet everyone.

Once I reach the group, I find a spot furthest away from everyone, but still close enough to hear, just wanting some space.

Rick nods at me once I join them, before he starts his speech,  "Dale could-- could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us-- The truth... Who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives... Our safety... ...our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on... We're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."