The Woman at The End of The World. (Daryl Dixon)

eightyseven.

We spent the entire rest of the day and nightfall rushing off towards Hilltop; braving the dark and its possible dangers to bring an old friend back safely. She did the same for me once upon a time. I can't turn my back on her; she needs me like I did her. The sun is now cresting over the land; the biggest tell that we are close to our destination. Hilltop is a days ride from the Kingdom. Now, I'm only twenty minutes away from everything I've built in the last few years to come crashing down around me. I tighten my grip on the handle bars at that thought. Anxiety painting little kisses along my flesh, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

I'm riding my bike, accelerating down the long winding road. To my left, Charlee had taken the motorcycle I had brought back so many years ago; Caroline's little body sits in front of me, while Wren has her arms wrapped around my middle, riding bitch behind me, and Kellin is curled in front of Charlee. I cast a glance to my right, Jamie and James riding horseback together, keeping up with us with ease.

I spent the time preparing myself for the questions I'm sure I'll face on the other side of the trip. I'm unsure of what, or who, is waiting for me inside the gates of Hilltop. I only have the information Jesus would share with me on his visits; but it's been six years. I'm not exactly the woman these people would remember, and I'm sure a lot of them have grown over this time, for better or for worse.

James hasn't been exposed to much of anyone outside of the Kingdom or people who knew of my lie. He was once caught off guard when he learned that there's four communities, filled to the brim with different people, surviving and trading in this fucked up world. I can't imagine how he's feeling, riding towards one of the three he's only ever heard of. He's listened to all the stories from the farm to the prison to Alexandria and Negan. But at the time, they were stories, and now he's about to come face to face with everyone. I smirk, realizing, it's only a mater of time before he meets my husband. Between you and me, he's not his biggest fan - "cause he abandoned my baby sister when she needed him most." I find myself wishing for technology once more; I'd love to record that interaction.

I truly haven't gotten over the anger and heart break from hearing that he's moved on; easily giving up on the search because he thought I was dead. Yet, on their visits, he tells Carol that he hasn't found Rick's body, so he's having trouble parting with that search. Maybe Owen was right; he didn't love me as much as he had claimed.

The petty side of me still feels pride in myself for handing the bitch her ass that day. Maybe if we ever come face to face again, Leah might rethink attacking me. However, I don't have high hopes. The air around her made my stomach turn. I don't know how Daryl fell for her act. I could tell by looking at her that she's a piece of shit. Though, I'm sure people could say the same about me. Oh well, Leah is not my problem; just an annoyance that helped break my heart further.

Sometimes, I played with the idea of hunting Daryl down. But as soon as the thought would stir, images of Leah would mix in. I had to swallow the sob that would build in my throat. I wouldn't ruin a relationship even if my life depended on it. I'd be lying if I said I was over him and fell out of love over the years; but I'm no liar. I just force myself to put all the hurt and trauma behind a wall so I could be present to my children and family. I did what I had to do to survive; and it's something I'll continue to do.

My blood runs cold as the sight of another bike and two other horses barreling towards us; I raise my hand, gesturing for the others to slow down and stop. I bend down, bringing my concealed lips to Caroline, "if this is an enemy, I need you to run to Uncle James at my signal like we rehearsed. Got it?" She nods, small body radiating with tension. She pulls her frame forward while Wren untangles her arms from my waist. I kick my legs over, carefully stalking towards the middle of the road, keeping my family protected at my back. Charlee decides to join my side. Together, we grip our weapons, keeping them trained on the ground. Charlee has acquired a bow and arrow that is now taut in her grasp, ready to let the arrow fly at the worst case scenario while my dual swords are tight in my grip, ready to swing.