The Woman at The End of The World. (Daryl Dixon)

thirtyeight.

I work diligently to dismantle Jesse's station; I reach up to wipe a stray tear that had escaped from behind my eye. We weren't close, but we were friendly with each other in a way a decent boss and employer were. Though, I didn't forget I was helping restrain her husband when Rick killed him. She never spoke to me about it. I drag the salon chair outside, leaving it curbside. I strut back inside, glancing around at the decor, the waiting room, and everything else in between. I fall into my own chair, hanging my head. Deanna's gone. Jesse and her family are completely wiped off the map. This salon feels so small and insignificant compared to the world we live in.

The last few days have been filled with dragging and burning the bodies of the walkers and burying the fallen members of our community. It was a pretty much all hands-on deck type of affair. I haven't had much time to see how Daryl was feeling about the bomb I had dropped on him. Though, I've been making it a habit to stay away from my home most of the day. Our nights are still full of laying together, recounting the events of the day. He hasn't clued me in on how he's taking it.

My eyes find the picture that my little red headed childhood friend had captured of Daryl and I. Wren set it there sometime while I was out trying to lead the herd away. Wren, Jordan, Charlee, Kelly, Carl, Glenn, Maggie, Rick and Carol had come over to visit after the mess with Rick and Pete. They got to listen to stories of our past lives that my friends and I had spent together. We all used to get into all sorts of chaos and mischief. I'm sure I caught him laughing while we were reminiscing. Wren had found my camera; she stalked around, taking pictures. He isn't looking at her, instead he's staring at me. His right arm is hooked around my waist, smiling at something that I said the second before this moment was photographed. We are both laughing, and happy. I reach for it, inspecting it further. I realize there's something more hidden behind his beautiful blue eyes. Something soft and gentle, while he looks at most others with a hard, intense glare. Thinking back, he's looked at me like that since we had discovered the walkers in Hershel's barn. How did I never see it? I pocket the photo without thinking.

The sound of a door swinging open pulls me out of thoughts. Rick struts through the salon, boots stomping across the tile. "You wanted to see me?" His timing is as perfect as it ever is.

I don't move or look up from my spot in the chair. "Yeah. I'm shutting down the salon indefinitely. Probably permanently. Wren's going to need a new job." I'm completely shedding the woman I was before the dead started taking over. This is the final cut I need to make. I gesture to my station. "This isn't me anymore."

"Good, because I need you on runs, helping Rosita with training, and assisting Denise in the infirmary. I need you where you are the most useful." He comes to stand in front of me, leaning against the mirror, peering down at me. "Any advice on placing Wren?"

I play with the pink skin along my lips, elbow resting on my thigh. "Anything that needs organized. Maybe with Olivia and the pantry. I'll train her in combat. I'll get Kelly to help. Unless Jordan has already done it." I shrug, "she's smart and crafty. Don't underestimate her. How's Carl? I've been meaning to get over to see him, but I felt like I had to deal with my salon first."

"He's good. Happy to be alive." He glances around, "if you want, I can have some men come in tear this down, give you a living room."

"I got it covered." I wave my hand, not wanting to think about that at the moment. "What's losing one eye compared to what could've happened, you know." I purse my lips, shaking my head. "How fucked is it that we are okay with losing an eye or a limb as long as we can live to fight another fucking day." The door leading into my home swings open, I spin my chair around, seeing Daryl lurk in the doorway with Maggie and Glenn behind him. I straighten up, returning my attention to Rick. "I'll stop by and see him as soon as I can. Tell him I love him please."