Healer {z.m}

17

Emma Winston

I had... I had a thing while in the store. Just like 'that' time. My hands were shaking and then I didn't remember anything.

I only remembered hugging Zayn and that was it. It was like my memory had blanked out that hour. 
We were currently sitting in my room, all of us.

They were quietly observing me. I look over at Louis and he wasn't even sparing a glance at me. I knew I messed up bad. But seeing that lifeless body of the girl, something inside of me snapped.

I think I thought of that girl as me. She was alive one moment and the next she wasn't.

"I need to talk to her alone." Zayn says to the guys making me snap out of my thoughts. They mumble something to themselves and quietly shuffle out of the room leaving him and me alone.

I felt scared. I don't know why but the feeling of being scared was constant. Now more, with Zayn being in the room.

Was I scared of him?

"I am not some psychopath bitch if that's what you were wondering." I quickly tell him making him chuckle a bit.

"That was not any psychopathic shit." He gently says sitting beside me on the edge of my bed. "You don't have to justify my actions." I interrupt him.

"Stop interrupting me." He sternly says making me go quit once again.

I am quiet and he was quiet. I was reflecting on my behaviour. I literally deserved to rot in hell after I murdered them in cold blood. I seriously don't know what took over me.

I should've have remorse but that's the thing which made me worse. I wasn't feeling an ounce of guilt or remorse for what I did. Instead, a part of me felt relieved and proud?

"I think you had a blackout." His words hit me like a brick that I close my eyes momentarily.

"No. I don't... I don't have blackouts." I say to him trying to erase out the thought from his mind.

"Emma. You had a massive blackout." He says suddenly taking a pause and then very carefully, "Do you... by any chance... have... anger issues?"

My jaws clench too tightly making the insides of my mouth hurt. "I fucking don't have any anger issues." I grit my teeth with anger seeping in my tone.

"Listen Emma", he grips my shoulders tightly, "It'll be faster for both of us to find a solution for this if you just tell me the truth."

I get up from his tight grip on me. I pace the room thinking of some hurtful things. I could feel my anger taking control of me. Once again.

"You have a lot of repressed emotions in you and I just want to understand you."

"You didn't fucking abduct me to understand my fucking emotions, now did you?" I shout in rage surprised from my voice.

He doesn't flinch from my sudden rage. But very calmly, he says, "Let it out, Em. I won't judge you."

"That's what everyone says. Every fucking person is like I won't judge you if you let me in. But they are so fucking judgemental about my every move."

The tears were stinging, clinging to the edge of my eyes.

His brown eyes were calm, glittering from the sun rays. He stands up, comes towards me hesitantly patting my shoulder and very carefully almost as if he was scared of overstepping he says,

"But I am not like every fucking person."

"How can I believe you? You are the reason I'm here in the first place" I say noticing how his face drops suddenly, but he is quick to hide his emotions.