Healer {z.m}

29

Emma Winston

Nostalgia is a liar. 

Nothing was ever good as we remember it to be. There's a reason we don't talk to that person anymore. There's a reason we aren't part of each other's lives anymore. Don't trust nostalgia. 

Grieve. Reflect. Move on.

I haven't ever really reflected on my relationship with him. How he actually was before that night, how he used to only see my scars and flaws and nothing else. 

I knew that he was a red flag but a part of me had accepted him already before my mind could even register him in properly. He had been in disguise of an angel. 

And he made me feel like emotions should always be in check. But when few days ago, I broke down in front of Zayn, he gave me the space I needed. 

He told me never to bottle up my emotions in me and maybe that's the reason I feel as if Asher has been the bad guy all along. He was an amazing guy once, talking about books and music and cooking me food and taking me out. 

But maybe he just saw me as someone who had severe anger issues. He made me someone who needed to be fixed. On the other hand, that night Zayn made me realise that it is okay.

It is okay to be broken. It is okay and acceptable to not fix. After all, we all are just messed up people, trying to find a way to leave a mark in this large obnoxious world. 

Even after trying to paint myself as the bad guy, Zayn has accepted me for who I am really of. He has been calm and soft with me, taken his time to slowly break the boundary. But a part of me has been scared to let him in because I know this was too familiar. 

He might trick me into letting him in and might trap me at the end with all my vulnerable moments. 

Things had been different with Zayn after all. He had been a lot more understanding, started talking to me like a friend and even took care of me sometimes. 

We were having a change of place today. It was in New York only but it was a different recording session. When I asked Harry about it he said, "We wrote in that studio for the first time as a band." 

That piece of information was enough for me to stop asking my questions. 

"How many days are we supposed to stay in New York for?" I ask the band in the tour bus we were currently in. All our feet were up on the glass table making my heart almost lurch wondering how the fragile table could hold up so much of weight. 

I overthink too much sometimes. 

"I think it's-uh tomorrow's the last day." Liam tells me making my heart almost drop. Tomorrow will be the last of me staying in New York and I was gonna go to another city. Leaving my dream behind.

I close my eyes at the thought of that and I remember Tanisha and how she is doing, "Uh do any of you know how is Tanisha or anything about her?" 

"Your friend?" Niall quips in his mouth full with food, "Shehasowenfinkformed".

I shake my head, "Someone who can speak proper English?" 

"She has been informed of the situation." Louis tells me making me sit straight up, "You mean she knows that I've been kidnapped?" 

They all look at each other before Harry gracefully answers me, "She thinks that you are our team doctor." 

"Aah that makes so much more sense." I sarcastically say. "That was like the only believable lie we could come up with." Louis tells me making me laugh.