She | h.s

forty-three

"Okay, don't be mad." I say, licking the sides of my ice cream cone to prevent it from spilling over. Elio nods at me, concerned to what I was about to say next.

"I know we've technically only been seeing each other for like, two weeks? But my friends kinda wanna meet you. Well, you've met Niall but there's also Sarah and Louis, and you didn't even meet Niall properly so—" I ramble on, noticing the silence around me as Elio just stares back at me, eating his ice cream.

It had been two weeks since meeting him, and we had been seeing each other semi-regularly. I had really began to enjoy his company, finding myself wanting to be around him constantly.

.....And yes, I haven't spoken to Harry in two weeks.

It's horrible. I know.

I'm honestly surprised that I had lasted this long without speaking to him after having him be a constant variable in my life for the longest time. It felt weird, and I honestly don't feel bad about it anymore because he had stopped trying to reach me after that day. Complete radio silence on his end too on social media.

I was past the point of knowing what to say to him, and so couldn't possibly come clean either. I felt like if I did just come clean and spew everything out the ground would swallow me whole.

I mean, it doesn't sound too great when you say Hey, yeah sorry for not speaking to you for two weeks, the night I tried to tell you I loved you, you told me that you couldn't possibly fathom even the thought of being in a relationship and so I got drunk and met another guy that I actually do really like spending time with,

Not like I didn't like spending time with you, but you hurt my feelings and you didn't even know it cause you were drunk and don't know that I am completely and utterly in love with you and if I told you why I had met him it would eventually lead me to having to tell you that I wanted to be with you.

I still do honestly, if only you knew.

It sounds horrible when you put it like that. And there was absolutely no way that I was going to handle rejection if I did tell him.

"Dais? Are you there?" Elio waves his hand in front of my face, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind," I say to him and he nods.

"You can always tell me, you know?" He says, making me hum as a response.

Why yes, I'd love to tell you how much it's killing me that I'm ignoring the boy that I actually really liked to hang out with the guy I met trying to avoid him.

"No, it's okay. I'm just worried about you meeting the guys. They wanna come over today and they're absolutely terrifying when it comes to meeting people I'm.. involved with," I cringe at the way I phrased the string of lies that had left my lips.

"Involved with? What are you, eighty?" He laughs. "I'd love to meet them though, I've already kind of met one of them, he seemed cool. He did tell me he liked the pancakes,"

"That he did," I laugh. "They're just protective, and we're kind of just going along with whatever is happening, they're definitely going to put you on the spot." I gulp.

"Well I love a good question and answer." He smiles, reassuring me.

"I'll call them," I say.

"You'll call them," He repeats, nodding happily at me as he pushes his curly brown hair away from his face.

#######

"Sick tattoos," Elio says awkwardly across the table, Louis staring at him intensely.